Yes, mighty tasty. Purple cauliflower is about the same as normal.
So I've cooked at home 3 days this week! Ok, ok, aided by Whole Foods each time :-). Love that place. Went Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. It's amazing what you can do with time and boredom. Need a bit of motivation too. I have so much time up here - wish I had friends here to go out with! I think I've become a real New Yorker because I don't want to do anything anymore. Maybe it's the chilly weather, but I sorta just want to whole in at home and relax. Don't care about discovering new restaurants or adventuring or seeing everything I hear about. I'm ready to go home.
But back to cooking - had some good salads (despite the fact our little fridge is too cold and eveyrhting has ice on it). Wednesday I cooked brussel sprouts! I was very proud of myself - my "trying new vegetables" campaign. Even found out the stove works :-). But Mom - don't understand why you don't like them - they are pretty good. :-). Wednesday I got some stuffed chicken (with apples and fontina) and a ring of squash to go with them. Pretty good. And Thursday I got some awesome pizza at Whole Foods and chowed that down - got "Black and White" which had olive tapenade and mozzarella with tomatoes too. And a slice of Mediterranean vegie with tomatoes, artichockes and lots of colorful olives. Fun :-). Also got a gingerbread cookie for dessert - yum. And been enjoying Starbucks gingerbread lattes :-). Everything pumpkin and gingerbread - can't go wrong. Tuesday I sort of invited myself to get dinner with my mentor because he gave me a ride to the train station. Got some pumpkin soup and a salad. Again yum. The cold really justifies things like soup and boots and scarves and hats which we have down south, but I never really took advantage of. So yeah - good week. And there's been some problem with my Netflix this week, but I discovered streaming TV on ABC's website so that's fun :-). At work I've been getting into possible new projects - they are pretty exciting. Some are a little wacky even :-). Enticing.
Had some coffee cake this morning for breakfast - also from Whole Foods. I've been craving my Mom's - this was actually pretty close. Then I braved the cold with my many layers to go on a bike ride again! It was sunny, but in the low 40s and the problem was really the WIND! Wind sucks, let me tell you. I didn't experience it the whole ride, but when I did, it sucked. Once I really thought it was pushing me so much that my bike wasn't making forward progress! But it was :-). Went up to the park again - this time trying different streets - up 8th Ave and down 7th. I'd say don't ever go down 7th btw - it includes Time Square which is very slow to move through. But anyway - braved the streets - I get better manuevering around cars and cabs every time. And went to the park - beautiful! Love that place. And now it's way more colorful and leaves were actually falling all over too - very pretty. Saw some awesome reds and yellows. So calming. And passed all my favorite spots - went over to look at my stone bridge, too. Even though it's hilly, that is just one of my favorite things - riding around that park. It's the best :-). And I kept toasty - even was over-warm sometimes, but better that than the alternative.
Another thing I'm really going to miss is the Empire State Building. I don't really know why - maybe it's all the movies I've watched about it. The statue has more symbolism, but I just love randomly gazing up into the sky and catching a glimpse of the tall building. I look at it everyday from the highway we drive to go to work. Every night I check what color it is lit up with. My favorite was purple-green-yellow :-). And I love that I can walk 100 feet down to 5th Ave and peek up at it. It's reassuring somehow - watching over me. Even though you can't see it from everywhere, you pass a certain street, and you can see it again. Lovely :-).
So, another weekend in the city... Sigh. It's less inviting now. I had a good lunch at "Chat n' Chew" on my street - very cute place. Had butternut squash soup and fish tacos - yum. And have a "free pass" to get into a cool club for a show tonight - thanks to Naveen's friend of friend. I'm seeing Ingrid Michaelson even though I don't know her. :-). Should be fun. And I want to go see Avenue Q this weekend, although the damn stage hands are striking, so that might be out. We'll see. But I can't wait until Tuesday - I wing to the bay for Thanksgiving with family - yay!! Stoked :-). Happy weekend all...
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Peculiarities of my Apartment
So I was just hanging out in my apartment (my mausoleum), and thinking about peculiarities. BTW, CHECK OUT the last 2 posts from yesterday too...
1) The only toilet is in a walk-in closet accessible from the living room/kitchen area. There are no other bathroomy things in the room - no sinks or anything.
2) I use the kitchen sink as my only sink - for food, dishes, teeth brushing, etc.
3) The ceilings in my room (living room) are about 20 feet up, and the room is really spacious - very odd for Manhattan. There's an awesome skylight at the top. It's fun to hear it raining on the skylight.
4) In said large living room, there is a small radiator in 1 corner that is about 1/2 or 1/3 the size of the large radiator in the bedroom in the back (my roommate's) - and the bedroom is about 1/2 to 1/3 the size of this living room. Inverse proportions.
5) The only real bathroom is only accessible from the back bedroom - but it has no toilet. That's where I shower in an old-fashioned tub with claws - has to have (3) shower curtains all the way around it to keep water out of the bathroom. However, I have to open the shower curtains to get to my shampoo and soap. But one of the shower curtains is a map of the world, so I like analyzing it :-). But there's no shower mat.
6) There are books and plants everywhere in my living room. But nothing looks used. The TV sure isn't and the kitchen sure isn't (including a mini fridge).
7) I'm pretty sure my roommate stole makeup pads from me. It's ok because I stole them from Sephora's sample trial stuff they had out. But I saw one in the bathroom today with makeup on it, and I'm pretty sure my roommate (who doesn't shower and rarely uses the toilet - never when I'm home) doesn't wear makeup because she works at a spa. But for never showering here, she has a ton of bathroom products in the bathroom!
8) There are no clocks.
Fun stuff :-). But I've made my bed into a kind of fort for myself - yippee :-).
1) The only toilet is in a walk-in closet accessible from the living room/kitchen area. There are no other bathroomy things in the room - no sinks or anything.
2) I use the kitchen sink as my only sink - for food, dishes, teeth brushing, etc.
3) The ceilings in my room (living room) are about 20 feet up, and the room is really spacious - very odd for Manhattan. There's an awesome skylight at the top. It's fun to hear it raining on the skylight.
4) In said large living room, there is a small radiator in 1 corner that is about 1/2 or 1/3 the size of the large radiator in the bedroom in the back (my roommate's) - and the bedroom is about 1/2 to 1/3 the size of this living room. Inverse proportions.
5) The only real bathroom is only accessible from the back bedroom - but it has no toilet. That's where I shower in an old-fashioned tub with claws - has to have (3) shower curtains all the way around it to keep water out of the bathroom. However, I have to open the shower curtains to get to my shampoo and soap. But one of the shower curtains is a map of the world, so I like analyzing it :-). But there's no shower mat.
6) There are books and plants everywhere in my living room. But nothing looks used. The TV sure isn't and the kitchen sure isn't (including a mini fridge).
7) I'm pretty sure my roommate stole makeup pads from me. It's ok because I stole them from Sephora's sample trial stuff they had out. But I saw one in the bathroom today with makeup on it, and I'm pretty sure my roommate (who doesn't shower and rarely uses the toilet - never when I'm home) doesn't wear makeup because she works at a spa. But for never showering here, she has a ton of bathroom products in the bathroom!
8) There are no clocks.
Fun stuff :-). But I've made my bed into a kind of fort for myself - yippee :-).
Monday, November 12, 2007
I Can Do 40
I'm referring to the temperature people :-). And I can do 40 degrees because I had to last week - brrr! Surprisingly, I had a good weekend. I will explain, but first:
I BOUGHT A TICKET TO COME BACK TO AUSTIN!! WOOHOO! I'm coming back December 5th - that's a Wednesday people. Be ready :-).
Ok, back to life. So I left off last Wednesday. Last Wednesday I went over to my friend's house - Mo, softball guy. He had gone to the hospital Tuesday and was all doped up and home sick and all, so I went to keep him company. I offered to bring food, but we ended up ordering Chinese for delivery at his place. No worries about what he had - he had gotten a cut on his neck infected, and was on antibiotics and pain meds. So yeah. So we decided to watch a movie, and he said I'd love the movie "The Doors" basically about Jim Morrison. We watched it - oh my God, it was scary! I don't know that that was the intended effect, but it scared the crap out of me. Maybe I have control issues, but how can a man be that reckless with his life? How can he abuse his body that much? Eeek - scary. Interesting movie, though.
Thursday I got bullied by Mo to go to a concert. Well, he had tickets and his friend bailed on him. I didn't feel like going, but I did. To Paul Lesh - he was part of Grateful Dead in the day. The theater (in Time Square) was really nice, and in the end I'm glad I went. It was nice music to just sit and listen to, even if you didn't know it. They did "improv rock" so I swear in their 2 hour sets, they played 5 songs in each - the songs just lasted forever. One band member would just go off on a tangent for awhile, and then they'd come back and then another would go off... crazy. The audience was interesting - older crown - 40-60 and sorta hippies. But nice :-). But I was tired and we stood for hours, so we left a little before it ended officially.
So Friday - which I count as the weekend. I slept a lot this weekend. It was very nice to sleep a lot - slept in Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and napped Friday and Saturday too :-). One reason is that my TV doesn't work - never could figure it out. So my place is quiet and there's not much to do. I read a bunch too - good thing I have a good book - "Kite Runner". And I'm listening to my music more. I finally made myself leave the house on Friday around 2 I think - went out to the Union Square Farmer's Market. Very fun, as usual, but different than Saturdays which is bigger. But got vegies, which makes me happy. Including brussel sprouts to try cooking, and purple carrots, and purple cauliflower :-). And got some apple cider and cider donuts - yum. Amazing that though it was a cold, rainy day, the farmer's market always cheers me up :-). So I brought my spoils back to the apartment (a block away), and got my computer to go to a coffee shop. I got food at a cute bakery in Union Square, but had troubles with their internet. But the leek quiche was tasty :-). So I went across to Starbucks and had good internet :-). Worked there for awhile, and I hate how it's dark before 5pm these days. But it was still rainy and cold, and my experiments were just running, so I decided to go to a movie. Went and saw "Gone Baby Gone" in a theater a block away :-). Very good movie - I liked the twist and the ending. I only go to movies now that rate highly on Rotten Tomatoes. :-). So I went back to Starbucks, checked on my jobs, and then walked to "Restaurant Row" to get Indonesian food, because I'm weird. Although it was rainy and cold and the walk was probably close to 3 miles, I had fun because I talked to Mary the whole time! Halleluah for friends :-). Always nice to chat. Lifts me up a bit. It'll be interesting to go back to my house in Austin :-). So I get my Indonesian food. I'm getting used to eating alone. I get a price fixed thing where I can try like 10 things. I really loved their peanut sauce and their shrimp crispy chips. I didn't like all the entree stuff, though. The chicken was odd, and the tofu with chili sauce wasn't that tasty. I liked the beef entrees - one with curry I think. My favorite was the string beans with curry - yum! I love vegetables. So, I left, and although the cold almost convinced me to take the subway - I persevered and walked home - my legs tired by when I got home. But I was lazy and didn't exercise otherwise, so there you go.
Saturday - more sleeping in - yay :-). I got up earlier this time because I wanted to go out to get breakfast. But I just went in a sweatshirt because I didn't feel like showering. I had a fantastic pumpkin muffin. And discovered Snapple's low calorie juices. I love gingerbread and pumpkin things during this time of year :-). And then I decided to wander around my neighborhood. Past the art in Union Square. Down Broadway, for fun. I got a free bag of popcorn - don't know why. Then I found a Beard Papa's store, which I've been wanting to try. They are from Japan - they sell supposedly fabulous cream puffs. I got a vanilla (regular) one and I have to say, what people say is right! Flaky crust, awesome filling. Yum. Then I happened upon a street fair thing, so I bought myself a roasted corn. Haphazard lunch. Then walked by NYU and came up University to see that on the way back. I like being around students :-). Stopped for a smoothie with pomegranate juice. Yippee - food makes me happy :-). So then I went home and holed in for awhile to warm up. It wasn't raining, but still chilly. I think this is when I took my nap. I also read a lot. My place is a mausoleum like that - very interesting, but quiet and cold and you feel you shouldn't touch things much. And I've gotten a lot of bug bites lately - I'm wondering if they are from my bed because another person in the building told me someone had bed bugs, and it's really cold outside for there to be bugs there. Weird. But it's a nice challenge - not having a TV. I was pretty down that afternoon, pretty bleak. Part of the reason is because by then I'd done enough experiments to verify the recent changes to my project just weren't working. So basically I knew we weren't going to make the paper (deadline being Thursday). Another failed project. But I'm taking it pretty well. And the reason is my 2 saviors this weekend: Rishi and Sharon.
So Rishi invited me to a Divali party on Saturday night. I waited for him to call me so I could just leave my house. Didn't get called until close to 9pm. But leave, I did. And wow, did that rejuvenate me. I just NEEDED people. Needed random conversation, even if it was "What do you do?" Needed to laugh - which I did, and that surprised me for some reason. But I had fun! I joked with people, I felt welcome. I ate Rishi's friend's homemade Indian food - the good cauliflower curry thing? And I drank wine. It was just great to be out, to feel like I had friends (sorta). Her apartment was really cute. And WARM! I stayed as long as possible - we all left around 2am after some good cards - Indians like cards of course :-). We played "Asshole" and the first 3 or so rounds I was the King! So fun :-). And I talked to people about their jobs, and about living in teh city. Most peopel here don't like their jobs, btw. But I have to say, I love the Indian culture. So a bunch of people there went to high school together in India. And they just KNEW each other, were close. Joked with each other. I love that closeness, that shared experience. I love that the girl who lived there waited until after 10pm to each because that's when her best friend came. And I love the hospitality, the informality. And I love that the 2 best friends (girls) leaned on each other and stroked each other's hair - they are CLOSE, you know? Americans don't do that. Anyway - that roused me out of my stupor of talking to no one for 2 days. It felt great :-). I fell asleep happy.
And Sunday was great! I woke up (although slept in), jumped up, finished organizing my place - still hadn't hung up a lot of my clothes (they were in suitcases). Headed out to grab a bagel for breakfast. It was still cold, but a crisp, sunny day, and it felt fantastic to be out. Indeed many were out. I saw Tim Robbins on the way to get my bagel! I swear! My carpool guy said he lives in the area. I only saw him briefly walking on 5th, but that was so cool. I love him :-). Had a tasty everything bagel, although I still like Asiago cheese and blueberry-type flavors better than what they generally have here. Then hurried home to bundle up for my braved bike ride. I wanted to exercise, but the cold really makes me not want to do anything. But today I was going! I had shorts, then hiking pants over them on the bottom, and my warmest socks. I had 3 layers on top - my long-sleeved workout shirt, a sweatshirt, then a light windbreaker. I put a cheese earwarmer headband thing I got free from IBM over my head under the helmet. Then gloves - and not my fingerless bike gloves - fingered gloves. I was ready :-). And I set out (after carting my bike down 3 flights). I was actually really warm, but I still appreciated my clothes. When I stopped for a bit in the park, I was cold pretty quick. So I biked up 6th Ave, and back 5th. And on account of it being a "nice" day, there were a lot of people out, so it was tricky manuevering on real streets with a lot of shoppers and cabs. But I'm getting better at it! So I went up to Central Park and around my big loop for the first time since I left the Upper West Side. Ah it was wonderful - like coming home. The park and it's familiar sights and green trees and space just cheers me up too. And there were a bunch of trees with fall colors this time. I was surprised. Although I see BEAUTIFUL trees and colors on my way to work everyday - just gorgeous - I haven't seen much in the city. But there were some in the park. So I passed my favorite parts of the park - saw skaters at Wollman Rink, saw the Boathouse, saw the obelisk, the reservoir, the old pool (now rink too), the Harlem Meer, the tennis courts. Took the hills again. It was great :-). At the end of my loop I hopped off my bike to see the skating rink and see the bridge - my stone bridge again. I have no idea why it strikes me so, but I love it. Beautiful scenes - a bride and groom were there taking pictures. And the lake with the ducks underneath, and trees drooping over the water - trees reflected in the water in yellow - beautiful. Very nice. So, had a great ride. Almost was sad when it was over.
I got home and had a text message from Sharon asking if I wanted to go to dinner! I was very happy - another friend get together. Sharon and I have been trying to get together for awhile now, and it's always not worked out (she was out of town for a couple of weeks). So, I showered (warmed up), and took care of some stuff around the house, then went out on the town again. A really cool store that I've been wanting to check out, Anthropologie, is across the street from me. So I went in. I wasn't in a shopping mood, and boy it was good because everything in there was too expensive for me, but it was fun to look :-). Then I checked out a HUGE sports store in the area - Paragon. I'd heard of it, but sheesh! I didn't know they made stores that big in this city. Again, I wasn't in the mood to shop, but there I could've bought stuff. Like a giant Sports Authority. And you turned a random corner and you were in another huge room for a different sport. Sorta neat. Then my friend Nalini called - it was nice to talk to her. She's good to me. I miss her. After that, it was time to go meet Sharon up by Columbia for dinner. And I was hungry - had only eaten a bagel all day! So I went up there - Columbia's campus is really pretty btw. She was there - had worked all day on her paper deadline. And we did what we always do - talk about boys :-). Well, her mostly - she let's me get a word in edgewise eventually :-). But it was good to see her nonetheless - great to just have girl-talk. We ate at Tom's Restaurant, too! The diner from Seinfeld? Very funny. I had a pizza hamburger and salad. But it was fun to catch up. And she is a very different person than me, so it's fun to get her take on things. Although she's a bit crazy too :-). Anyway - good times. I felt close to her even. And we stopped at Starbucks for a hot drink on our walk home - I got a pumpkin spice latte (decaf) that was very tasty. So, fun night! And another savior :-). Went home with a smile on my face. Even got myself a piece of gingerbread for a treat (the bike ride made me hungry). Went home and did chores, but felt happy about my weekend :-). 3 cheers for friends!
Today - another Monday. I was sad to tell my colleagues about the failure to make PLDI. Sad news, but what can I do? And how many failed projects can I have? We shall see... But there is more to be done - even other things to be done. On my way home I "discovered" Whole Foods which is in Union Square. FABULOUS place really! I could eat dinner from there every night! I got some treats there, some sorta stuffed salmon and cornbread and brought them home and made a big salad to go with them. Love Whole Foods, and my proximity to it! And watched a Netflix movie. So another good night! And with that, I'll sign off. Here's thinking about ya.
I BOUGHT A TICKET TO COME BACK TO AUSTIN!! WOOHOO! I'm coming back December 5th - that's a Wednesday people. Be ready :-).
Ok, back to life. So I left off last Wednesday. Last Wednesday I went over to my friend's house - Mo, softball guy. He had gone to the hospital Tuesday and was all doped up and home sick and all, so I went to keep him company. I offered to bring food, but we ended up ordering Chinese for delivery at his place. No worries about what he had - he had gotten a cut on his neck infected, and was on antibiotics and pain meds. So yeah. So we decided to watch a movie, and he said I'd love the movie "The Doors" basically about Jim Morrison. We watched it - oh my God, it was scary! I don't know that that was the intended effect, but it scared the crap out of me. Maybe I have control issues, but how can a man be that reckless with his life? How can he abuse his body that much? Eeek - scary. Interesting movie, though.
Thursday I got bullied by Mo to go to a concert. Well, he had tickets and his friend bailed on him. I didn't feel like going, but I did. To Paul Lesh - he was part of Grateful Dead in the day. The theater (in Time Square) was really nice, and in the end I'm glad I went. It was nice music to just sit and listen to, even if you didn't know it. They did "improv rock" so I swear in their 2 hour sets, they played 5 songs in each - the songs just lasted forever. One band member would just go off on a tangent for awhile, and then they'd come back and then another would go off... crazy. The audience was interesting - older crown - 40-60 and sorta hippies. But nice :-). But I was tired and we stood for hours, so we left a little before it ended officially.
So Friday - which I count as the weekend. I slept a lot this weekend. It was very nice to sleep a lot - slept in Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and napped Friday and Saturday too :-). One reason is that my TV doesn't work - never could figure it out. So my place is quiet and there's not much to do. I read a bunch too - good thing I have a good book - "Kite Runner". And I'm listening to my music more. I finally made myself leave the house on Friday around 2 I think - went out to the Union Square Farmer's Market. Very fun, as usual, but different than Saturdays which is bigger. But got vegies, which makes me happy. Including brussel sprouts to try cooking, and purple carrots, and purple cauliflower :-). And got some apple cider and cider donuts - yum. Amazing that though it was a cold, rainy day, the farmer's market always cheers me up :-). So I brought my spoils back to the apartment (a block away), and got my computer to go to a coffee shop. I got food at a cute bakery in Union Square, but had troubles with their internet. But the leek quiche was tasty :-). So I went across to Starbucks and had good internet :-). Worked there for awhile, and I hate how it's dark before 5pm these days. But it was still rainy and cold, and my experiments were just running, so I decided to go to a movie. Went and saw "Gone Baby Gone" in a theater a block away :-). Very good movie - I liked the twist and the ending. I only go to movies now that rate highly on Rotten Tomatoes. :-). So I went back to Starbucks, checked on my jobs, and then walked to "Restaurant Row" to get Indonesian food, because I'm weird. Although it was rainy and cold and the walk was probably close to 3 miles, I had fun because I talked to Mary the whole time! Halleluah for friends :-). Always nice to chat. Lifts me up a bit. It'll be interesting to go back to my house in Austin :-). So I get my Indonesian food. I'm getting used to eating alone. I get a price fixed thing where I can try like 10 things. I really loved their peanut sauce and their shrimp crispy chips. I didn't like all the entree stuff, though. The chicken was odd, and the tofu with chili sauce wasn't that tasty. I liked the beef entrees - one with curry I think. My favorite was the string beans with curry - yum! I love vegetables. So, I left, and although the cold almost convinced me to take the subway - I persevered and walked home - my legs tired by when I got home. But I was lazy and didn't exercise otherwise, so there you go.
Saturday - more sleeping in - yay :-). I got up earlier this time because I wanted to go out to get breakfast. But I just went in a sweatshirt because I didn't feel like showering. I had a fantastic pumpkin muffin. And discovered Snapple's low calorie juices. I love gingerbread and pumpkin things during this time of year :-). And then I decided to wander around my neighborhood. Past the art in Union Square. Down Broadway, for fun. I got a free bag of popcorn - don't know why. Then I found a Beard Papa's store, which I've been wanting to try. They are from Japan - they sell supposedly fabulous cream puffs. I got a vanilla (regular) one and I have to say, what people say is right! Flaky crust, awesome filling. Yum. Then I happened upon a street fair thing, so I bought myself a roasted corn. Haphazard lunch. Then walked by NYU and came up University to see that on the way back. I like being around students :-). Stopped for a smoothie with pomegranate juice. Yippee - food makes me happy :-). So then I went home and holed in for awhile to warm up. It wasn't raining, but still chilly. I think this is when I took my nap. I also read a lot. My place is a mausoleum like that - very interesting, but quiet and cold and you feel you shouldn't touch things much. And I've gotten a lot of bug bites lately - I'm wondering if they are from my bed because another person in the building told me someone had bed bugs, and it's really cold outside for there to be bugs there. Weird. But it's a nice challenge - not having a TV. I was pretty down that afternoon, pretty bleak. Part of the reason is because by then I'd done enough experiments to verify the recent changes to my project just weren't working. So basically I knew we weren't going to make the paper (deadline being Thursday). Another failed project. But I'm taking it pretty well. And the reason is my 2 saviors this weekend: Rishi and Sharon.
So Rishi invited me to a Divali party on Saturday night. I waited for him to call me so I could just leave my house. Didn't get called until close to 9pm. But leave, I did. And wow, did that rejuvenate me. I just NEEDED people. Needed random conversation, even if it was "What do you do?" Needed to laugh - which I did, and that surprised me for some reason. But I had fun! I joked with people, I felt welcome. I ate Rishi's friend's homemade Indian food - the good cauliflower curry thing? And I drank wine. It was just great to be out, to feel like I had friends (sorta). Her apartment was really cute. And WARM! I stayed as long as possible - we all left around 2am after some good cards - Indians like cards of course :-). We played "Asshole" and the first 3 or so rounds I was the King! So fun :-). And I talked to people about their jobs, and about living in teh city. Most peopel here don't like their jobs, btw. But I have to say, I love the Indian culture. So a bunch of people there went to high school together in India. And they just KNEW each other, were close. Joked with each other. I love that closeness, that shared experience. I love that the girl who lived there waited until after 10pm to each because that's when her best friend came. And I love the hospitality, the informality. And I love that the 2 best friends (girls) leaned on each other and stroked each other's hair - they are CLOSE, you know? Americans don't do that. Anyway - that roused me out of my stupor of talking to no one for 2 days. It felt great :-). I fell asleep happy.
And Sunday was great! I woke up (although slept in), jumped up, finished organizing my place - still hadn't hung up a lot of my clothes (they were in suitcases). Headed out to grab a bagel for breakfast. It was still cold, but a crisp, sunny day, and it felt fantastic to be out. Indeed many were out. I saw Tim Robbins on the way to get my bagel! I swear! My carpool guy said he lives in the area. I only saw him briefly walking on 5th, but that was so cool. I love him :-). Had a tasty everything bagel, although I still like Asiago cheese and blueberry-type flavors better than what they generally have here. Then hurried home to bundle up for my braved bike ride. I wanted to exercise, but the cold really makes me not want to do anything. But today I was going! I had shorts, then hiking pants over them on the bottom, and my warmest socks. I had 3 layers on top - my long-sleeved workout shirt, a sweatshirt, then a light windbreaker. I put a cheese earwarmer headband thing I got free from IBM over my head under the helmet. Then gloves - and not my fingerless bike gloves - fingered gloves. I was ready :-). And I set out (after carting my bike down 3 flights). I was actually really warm, but I still appreciated my clothes. When I stopped for a bit in the park, I was cold pretty quick. So I biked up 6th Ave, and back 5th. And on account of it being a "nice" day, there were a lot of people out, so it was tricky manuevering on real streets with a lot of shoppers and cabs. But I'm getting better at it! So I went up to Central Park and around my big loop for the first time since I left the Upper West Side. Ah it was wonderful - like coming home. The park and it's familiar sights and green trees and space just cheers me up too. And there were a bunch of trees with fall colors this time. I was surprised. Although I see BEAUTIFUL trees and colors on my way to work everyday - just gorgeous - I haven't seen much in the city. But there were some in the park. So I passed my favorite parts of the park - saw skaters at Wollman Rink, saw the Boathouse, saw the obelisk, the reservoir, the old pool (now rink too), the Harlem Meer, the tennis courts. Took the hills again. It was great :-). At the end of my loop I hopped off my bike to see the skating rink and see the bridge - my stone bridge again. I have no idea why it strikes me so, but I love it. Beautiful scenes - a bride and groom were there taking pictures. And the lake with the ducks underneath, and trees drooping over the water - trees reflected in the water in yellow - beautiful. Very nice. So, had a great ride. Almost was sad when it was over.
I got home and had a text message from Sharon asking if I wanted to go to dinner! I was very happy - another friend get together. Sharon and I have been trying to get together for awhile now, and it's always not worked out (she was out of town for a couple of weeks). So, I showered (warmed up), and took care of some stuff around the house, then went out on the town again. A really cool store that I've been wanting to check out, Anthropologie, is across the street from me. So I went in. I wasn't in a shopping mood, and boy it was good because everything in there was too expensive for me, but it was fun to look :-). Then I checked out a HUGE sports store in the area - Paragon. I'd heard of it, but sheesh! I didn't know they made stores that big in this city. Again, I wasn't in the mood to shop, but there I could've bought stuff. Like a giant Sports Authority. And you turned a random corner and you were in another huge room for a different sport. Sorta neat. Then my friend Nalini called - it was nice to talk to her. She's good to me. I miss her. After that, it was time to go meet Sharon up by Columbia for dinner. And I was hungry - had only eaten a bagel all day! So I went up there - Columbia's campus is really pretty btw. She was there - had worked all day on her paper deadline. And we did what we always do - talk about boys :-). Well, her mostly - she let's me get a word in edgewise eventually :-). But it was good to see her nonetheless - great to just have girl-talk. We ate at Tom's Restaurant, too! The diner from Seinfeld? Very funny. I had a pizza hamburger and salad. But it was fun to catch up. And she is a very different person than me, so it's fun to get her take on things. Although she's a bit crazy too :-). Anyway - good times. I felt close to her even. And we stopped at Starbucks for a hot drink on our walk home - I got a pumpkin spice latte (decaf) that was very tasty. So, fun night! And another savior :-). Went home with a smile on my face. Even got myself a piece of gingerbread for a treat (the bike ride made me hungry). Went home and did chores, but felt happy about my weekend :-). 3 cheers for friends!
Today - another Monday. I was sad to tell my colleagues about the failure to make PLDI. Sad news, but what can I do? And how many failed projects can I have? We shall see... But there is more to be done - even other things to be done. On my way home I "discovered" Whole Foods which is in Union Square. FABULOUS place really! I could eat dinner from there every night! I got some treats there, some sorta stuffed salmon and cornbread and brought them home and made a big salad to go with them. Love Whole Foods, and my proximity to it! And watched a Netflix movie. So another good night! And with that, I'll sign off. Here's thinking about ya.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
I Don't Know How to Take it Easy on Myself
So, lots of thoughts swirling through my head, as usual.
I moved Monday. There you have it - that embodies the title of the post right there :-). Yes, why was I moving again, you ask? Because I don't know how to take it easy on myself. No, actually more because of logistics. Although I liked where I was and my roommate enjoyed me as a roommate, she's leave Nov 17 for 4 months and wants a sublettor for that whole time. So I had to vacate. Wasn't fun coming home from a weekend away and having to pack up all my belongs again - ugh. But I tried to focus on the positive - the new place is spacious, in a fabulous neighborhood (Union Square) which is where I wanted to live anyway, and the new roommate seemed like she would give me more privacy. So anyway, I go through the pain of packing things up (I just put a huge dirty clothes bag straight into 1 suitcase :-) - fun). I also went running along the water in the late morning, and tho it was 50 degrees, I went in a t-shirt and shorts. Which was perfect! I thoroughly enjoyed my run, although I wish it wasn't still difficult and made me feel slow. But I made it. Then I biked my bike to my new place (carried it down 2 flights to ride it, then up 3 to my new place). Finally when I was ready, went to my favorite coffee shop in the Village to do some work the rest of the day. Then my friend Mo came to help me move (with car) around 8:30. It was so AWESOME to have his help - wow, it just made it so much easier. Good times. He really liked my new spacious place with books and plants and arabic/african art and blankets everywhere.
So what do I do, but go out walking looking for dinner, feeling a bit lonely. And who do I run into by chance in Union Square? (I know a handful of people here, so it's not too hard to run through the list.). Rishi! He's the Indian guy - friend of Emina's that we hung out with a bit! So good to see him - right when I'm down, some little thing picks me up and shows me the world can be forgiving. Anyway, he invited me to an Indian Divali party this weekend, so I think I'm going to check that out - yippee! And though there are tons of restaurants around my new place (and stores I want to check out), I go to one I've been to (Coffee Bar) and get a Cobb Salad for dinner. And afterwards good friend Christine calls me back after her class, and we have a good chat. It's so nice to have friends who are there for you :-). Another perk me up. So I go back to my new abode, and try to organize a little. I don't know if the heat works there -it's chilly. And I never saw my roommate that night, so I had no sheets yet, so I just slept on the futon with my 1 blanket and 1 I found and using my sweatshirt as a pillow, trying to stay warm with many layers of clothing on. The place is big and quiet. But there's a huge skylight way above me, and I hear rain pattering all night.
So Tuesday - work has been frustrating, but there might've been a breakthrough. More like I can stop waiting for some piece of the project done by someone else. We'll see. Then I have to do laundry after work. So on the way home (brrr cold - a cold front's come in and it's very chilly) I pick up some excellent Thai food - green curry with eggplant :-). Get my laundry ready, and because I've waited 3 weeks, haul the heavy bags bit by bit down the street to the close laundromat. Of course I get there, and it's closing (it's 8:20pm). The close one at my old place closed at 10 so I didn't think about it. So since I need laundry done and I can't carry the heavy bags anymore, I grab a cab and pay $7 for him to take me to a laundromat a couple avenues away that's still open. Ugh. Finally doing the laundry - was pretty painless there. Wish I didn't want like 1/2 my stuff air-dried, and I could just drop it off for them to wash for me! Anyway, done at 10, about ready to grab a cab home and pay the overhead, when the laundromat itself closes and the guy offers me a ride home. Why he has a car while living on 29th and working on 15th is beyond me. Now, mind you, scenes from Law and Order flash through my head: Unknown blonde girl left dead in alley. But I had had such an annoying day so far, and this was a glimmer of help. So I took him up on his ride home, and I'm fine :-). I refused his help to carry stuff up to my apartment - thought that was prudent, but the ride was nice. Glad to have clean clothes and be back in my place and organize a bit! Although wish it were warmer... But my roommate has since made up my bed for me which is nice of her :-).
But something pissed me off - I came home (to get my laundry) and roomie had moved all my suitcases to one corner of the room. Now given I had left them sort of all over, but she had said it was my room to do what I wanted with it, and she woudln't come in at all (even though it's the living room/kitchen). That mornign she had said the exterminator was going to come the next day, and could I move my stuff a bit so he could spray. I said fine, that I'd do it after work. Then I come home and she's moved my stuff!! I'm sorry this perturbs me so, but my last roommate moved my stuff, too, and I HATE it! It's MY stuff - I don't go into your room and move your stuff around. And I can't find anything after they do this. And it's a breach of privacy in my mind... Ugh. In the end it's not a big deal... I cleaned and organized more the rest of the night, but it made me sorta mad. Oh well.
Oh yeah - and the TV doesn't work in my new place, although she said I could plug it in and get basic channels if I wanted. I dont' watch much, and I thought about trying to take a break from TV altogether while I'm there, but it's just too comforting sometimes. And I only get 2 Netflix at a time! Anyway :-). And the lady doesn't eat at home AT ALL! There are sorta cups, and I asked about bowls for cereal, but she pointed to like Chinese rice bowls. We might have a couple utensils. Fun new place :-). But it's all an adventure.
Which brings me to this: I really haven't learned how to take it easy on myself. Don't know exactly when I transitioned, but I feel like I should be challenging myself, taking the harder road, learning, pushing all the time. That's why I don't let myself stop moving. Gotta do all there is to do in New York - enjoy it all and see it all (not really - it's impossible). Gotta try every ethnicity, and visit neighboring cities while I'm here (although I gave myself a break on Niagra). Gotta walk everywhere and not take cabs. Gotta save money. Gotta work out 5-6 times a week. All these gottas. Even my relationship, in retrospect, was a challenge. The whole adage "it should be easy". Maybe? It's not that straight-forward all the time. Feelings are tricky, and all relationships take work. But of course I picked a person to fall in love with who has this challenging personality - this way of communicating that is hard to understand and seems harsh to my personality. Both strong-willed too. Always a challenge. So are me and my expectations for myself. Not sure why I fight so much. Not sure why I insist. I do a lot of travelling, which is usually not the easiest thing in the world (tiring). But you see, a lot of these things have benefit, give happiness back. And that's definitely worth it. But you gotta do the analysis (me being so analytical). Exercise, I feel, gives great payback, so I fight for it. Travel can give great payback, but it gets exhausting. Depends on what it's for. So see - I've realized (and said before) that people matter to me the most. I fight so hard, and I need to reward myself sometimes. And besides through sweets (which have guilt all their own), my happiest reward to myself is through people - feeling love. I traveled to Illinois so much in the past because even though it was disruptive, uprooting, chaotic, and inconvenient, it brought me to the 1 person who could just give me such joy (and seeing auxilary people up in Illinois). That was my reward. And somehow with him I felt I could just totally relax. There's that theme again of being able to relax around people who really know you. Anyway... I think in New York I'm growing more tired of the challenge, because there is less reward. Don't get me wrong - there is reward. I see acts of kindness, especially from the few friends I have, and they mean so much to me! But it's never entirely relaxing, never entirely rewarding. Need more love :-). I can travel to Philadelphia and see the city and love the walking around, and love experiencing history, and get some reward for seeing a new place, trying a new food. But it's not as great as the reward of experiencing it with people I love, and who love me.
ADDITION: But I do have hope. And I am really proud of myself for doing the challenging thing. I feel like I'm a better person for it. I HAVE learned a lot! And experienced a lot. And I'm grateful (greatful?). Go me :-).
So there's my analysis, doc. Anyone have ideas, though, on how else to take it easy on myself? Change my expectations? Right :-). 4 weeks folks...
I moved Monday. There you have it - that embodies the title of the post right there :-). Yes, why was I moving again, you ask? Because I don't know how to take it easy on myself. No, actually more because of logistics. Although I liked where I was and my roommate enjoyed me as a roommate, she's leave Nov 17 for 4 months and wants a sublettor for that whole time. So I had to vacate. Wasn't fun coming home from a weekend away and having to pack up all my belongs again - ugh. But I tried to focus on the positive - the new place is spacious, in a fabulous neighborhood (Union Square) which is where I wanted to live anyway, and the new roommate seemed like she would give me more privacy. So anyway, I go through the pain of packing things up (I just put a huge dirty clothes bag straight into 1 suitcase :-) - fun). I also went running along the water in the late morning, and tho it was 50 degrees, I went in a t-shirt and shorts. Which was perfect! I thoroughly enjoyed my run, although I wish it wasn't still difficult and made me feel slow. But I made it. Then I biked my bike to my new place (carried it down 2 flights to ride it, then up 3 to my new place). Finally when I was ready, went to my favorite coffee shop in the Village to do some work the rest of the day. Then my friend Mo came to help me move (with car) around 8:30. It was so AWESOME to have his help - wow, it just made it so much easier. Good times. He really liked my new spacious place with books and plants and arabic/african art and blankets everywhere.
So what do I do, but go out walking looking for dinner, feeling a bit lonely. And who do I run into by chance in Union Square? (I know a handful of people here, so it's not too hard to run through the list.). Rishi! He's the Indian guy - friend of Emina's that we hung out with a bit! So good to see him - right when I'm down, some little thing picks me up and shows me the world can be forgiving. Anyway, he invited me to an Indian Divali party this weekend, so I think I'm going to check that out - yippee! And though there are tons of restaurants around my new place (and stores I want to check out), I go to one I've been to (Coffee Bar) and get a Cobb Salad for dinner. And afterwards good friend Christine calls me back after her class, and we have a good chat. It's so nice to have friends who are there for you :-). Another perk me up. So I go back to my new abode, and try to organize a little. I don't know if the heat works there -it's chilly. And I never saw my roommate that night, so I had no sheets yet, so I just slept on the futon with my 1 blanket and 1 I found and using my sweatshirt as a pillow, trying to stay warm with many layers of clothing on. The place is big and quiet. But there's a huge skylight way above me, and I hear rain pattering all night.
So Tuesday - work has been frustrating, but there might've been a breakthrough. More like I can stop waiting for some piece of the project done by someone else. We'll see. Then I have to do laundry after work. So on the way home (brrr cold - a cold front's come in and it's very chilly) I pick up some excellent Thai food - green curry with eggplant :-). Get my laundry ready, and because I've waited 3 weeks, haul the heavy bags bit by bit down the street to the close laundromat. Of course I get there, and it's closing (it's 8:20pm). The close one at my old place closed at 10 so I didn't think about it. So since I need laundry done and I can't carry the heavy bags anymore, I grab a cab and pay $7 for him to take me to a laundromat a couple avenues away that's still open. Ugh. Finally doing the laundry - was pretty painless there. Wish I didn't want like 1/2 my stuff air-dried, and I could just drop it off for them to wash for me! Anyway, done at 10, about ready to grab a cab home and pay the overhead, when the laundromat itself closes and the guy offers me a ride home. Why he has a car while living on 29th and working on 15th is beyond me. Now, mind you, scenes from Law and Order flash through my head: Unknown blonde girl left dead in alley. But I had had such an annoying day so far, and this was a glimmer of help. So I took him up on his ride home, and I'm fine :-). I refused his help to carry stuff up to my apartment - thought that was prudent, but the ride was nice. Glad to have clean clothes and be back in my place and organize a bit! Although wish it were warmer... But my roommate has since made up my bed for me which is nice of her :-).
But something pissed me off - I came home (to get my laundry) and roomie had moved all my suitcases to one corner of the room. Now given I had left them sort of all over, but she had said it was my room to do what I wanted with it, and she woudln't come in at all (even though it's the living room/kitchen). That mornign she had said the exterminator was going to come the next day, and could I move my stuff a bit so he could spray. I said fine, that I'd do it after work. Then I come home and she's moved my stuff!! I'm sorry this perturbs me so, but my last roommate moved my stuff, too, and I HATE it! It's MY stuff - I don't go into your room and move your stuff around. And I can't find anything after they do this. And it's a breach of privacy in my mind... Ugh. In the end it's not a big deal... I cleaned and organized more the rest of the night, but it made me sorta mad. Oh well.
Oh yeah - and the TV doesn't work in my new place, although she said I could plug it in and get basic channels if I wanted. I dont' watch much, and I thought about trying to take a break from TV altogether while I'm there, but it's just too comforting sometimes. And I only get 2 Netflix at a time! Anyway :-). And the lady doesn't eat at home AT ALL! There are sorta cups, and I asked about bowls for cereal, but she pointed to like Chinese rice bowls. We might have a couple utensils. Fun new place :-). But it's all an adventure.
Which brings me to this: I really haven't learned how to take it easy on myself. Don't know exactly when I transitioned, but I feel like I should be challenging myself, taking the harder road, learning, pushing all the time. That's why I don't let myself stop moving. Gotta do all there is to do in New York - enjoy it all and see it all (not really - it's impossible). Gotta try every ethnicity, and visit neighboring cities while I'm here (although I gave myself a break on Niagra). Gotta walk everywhere and not take cabs. Gotta save money. Gotta work out 5-6 times a week. All these gottas. Even my relationship, in retrospect, was a challenge. The whole adage "it should be easy". Maybe? It's not that straight-forward all the time. Feelings are tricky, and all relationships take work. But of course I picked a person to fall in love with who has this challenging personality - this way of communicating that is hard to understand and seems harsh to my personality. Both strong-willed too. Always a challenge. So are me and my expectations for myself. Not sure why I fight so much. Not sure why I insist. I do a lot of travelling, which is usually not the easiest thing in the world (tiring). But you see, a lot of these things have benefit, give happiness back. And that's definitely worth it. But you gotta do the analysis (me being so analytical). Exercise, I feel, gives great payback, so I fight for it. Travel can give great payback, but it gets exhausting. Depends on what it's for. So see - I've realized (and said before) that people matter to me the most. I fight so hard, and I need to reward myself sometimes. And besides through sweets (which have guilt all their own), my happiest reward to myself is through people - feeling love. I traveled to Illinois so much in the past because even though it was disruptive, uprooting, chaotic, and inconvenient, it brought me to the 1 person who could just give me such joy (and seeing auxilary people up in Illinois). That was my reward. And somehow with him I felt I could just totally relax. There's that theme again of being able to relax around people who really know you. Anyway... I think in New York I'm growing more tired of the challenge, because there is less reward. Don't get me wrong - there is reward. I see acts of kindness, especially from the few friends I have, and they mean so much to me! But it's never entirely relaxing, never entirely rewarding. Need more love :-). I can travel to Philadelphia and see the city and love the walking around, and love experiencing history, and get some reward for seeing a new place, trying a new food. But it's not as great as the reward of experiencing it with people I love, and who love me.
ADDITION: But I do have hope. And I am really proud of myself for doing the challenging thing. I feel like I'm a better person for it. I HAVE learned a lot! And experienced a lot. And I'm grateful (greatful?). Go me :-).
So there's my analysis, doc. Anyone have ideas, though, on how else to take it easy on myself? Change my expectations? Right :-). 4 weeks folks...
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Weekend in Maryland and Philadelphia
[Posted 2 at once, so look for previous post on Halloween.]
So I had to walk to the subway, then take the subway, then walk again - took longer than I thought. And I went to some random street corner in Chinatown to catch my cheap bus. These ladies were standing there going "You want bus - hurry get on now." Literally just a bus on a corner - I gave them $20 to go to Baltimore, and they ushered me on the bus and told me it was leaving soon. Instead it was pretty full already and it left 15 minutes before I thought it was scheduled to leave. I was really hoping it'd actually stop in Baltimore because it was the bus to DC. So I wrote emails, wrote blog, read a paper, and slept my 3.5 hours away, and suddenly we were in Baltimore and they just dropped us at a random street corner there too! How strange. I waited in a McDonalds for Christine (we were early), and then she was there! It was great talking and catching up with her. We are best friends, and she just KNOWS me and there's so much comfort in that. And as she said "Jenn, we are the same." Twins separated at birth, I said :-). Except her curly hair is dark... Anyway, it was fun to talk. We went home and waiting for her husband Jeff to come home, then went to dinner in very cute downtown Annapolis at Buddy's Ribs and Crabs. Yum - Maryland crab cakes :-). Then on Christine's behest we baked a triple chocolate fudge cake for the following day. We never could figure out the 3rd chocolate (it had chips in it). It was fun :-). Felt very domestic. Then we watched a movie - I took forever to look through their movie collection and pick, but we watched "The Sum of All Fears" which was really good. Christine fell asleep, but I made it :-).
We had a late night that night, and then I had to check on work stuff at the end, so I slept in until 11:30 on Saturday morning. :-). It was great sleep though! Something about suburbia and darkness, and a comfortable spacious room, and warmth, no noise = good sleep. Was nice to do that, although I felt a little bad that it limited what we did for the day. But I finally got ready and we left to get a very delicious Lebanese lunch (which Christine and I love but Jeff doesn't). I got lamb fatteh which has lamb chunks, chick peas, pine nuts, and pita chips all in a yogurt sauce - tasty. And they made their own fresh wheat pitas which were awesome. I enjoyed our chat about Harry Potter and the failures of the 1-3 Star Wars movies. Then we had a great conversation about the perils of grad school on the way to Christine's football game. So Jeff and I watched her play touch football which was really fun! Just hanging out - it was slightly chilly, but the sun was out. We cheered them on, and Christine scored 3 out of their 4 touchdowns! Rock! Fun to encourage the team, and because I had my camera it was requested that I take the group picture too :-). They played well - fun times. And btw, they have some beautiful fall colors on trees around here too! Then we went back to Christine's house to meet up with friends for dinner. Amy and Ryan who had come up to NYC for Wicked came, and Amy's husband. We went out for a nice dinner at "Four Seasons Grill". They had a really good menu where I wanted to try many things. We got this shrimp appetizer with spicy sauce over zucchini which was good. Then I got scallop ginger risotto (almost got veal scallopini instead). It was very tasty, although I've had better risotto. But it was fun to hang out with everybody. It strikes me that I was not in New York. For one, a lot of conversation is about the government and politics and campaigns (Amy's husband does campaigning down here). For another, we drive everywhere - everything is spread out and there's more suburbia and lots of large strip malls. It's what I grew up in, and it is slightly soothing. I think a lot of the way New York is is based on the limited space there, and the premium for space. Things are closer together, shops are smaller, you can walk more places, etc. Different. But anyway - we had a nice dinner, then went back to Christine's and hung out and had cake. Did I mention I ate too many sweets at Christine's? It was too tempting - she had a bag of leftover Halloween candy too :-). But the cake was delicious - I actually liked the white cream cheese frosting better than the chocolate. Christine had frosted it in a checker pattern :-). Fun. Then the friends left. They are really nice people. I kept thinking that I felt really comfortable there - like these are "my kind of people". That's a nice feeling; comforting. I told Christine maybe I should move close to her because it'd be fun. I want to encourage her to do a triathlon and that would be easier if we could train together! But yeah, good times. So we watched another movie - put in Star Trek #6. But this time I quickly fell asleep :-). Christine fell asleep too, though!
So we got an extra hour of sleep - yay! And I actually had to pay attention to daylight savings because I had to catch a 8:48am train to Philadelphia! So I was sad to leave - short visit with Christine, but still a quality one. Always fun. Good friends :-). I wanted her to come to Philly with me, but she had homework to do. So now - off to Philly!
So let me just say - do what I say, not what I do. I don't recommend anyone actually walk around Philly for the whole day with a backpack, purse, coat, and rolly weekend bag (with laptop) to carry the whole time. It's exhausting! But I made it :-). Good adventures. So took Amtrack up to the city, then metro to get to the Independence Hall area. Went and picked up tickets for the Independence Hall tour, then walked over to see a Quaker meeting house and Ben Franklin's grave. Wow, was Ben Franklin a really influential man! I'm impressed by him. Did you know he was basically our first ambassador to France and got us a lot of money from them for the American Revolution? And he also had severe gout? And little education? Awesome :-). Anyway, went through and saw the Liberty Bell. Love it's symbolism - they used it as a symbol against slavery even. But the actual bell is smaller than I thought. Then went to my tour of the building where the Declaration of Independence was written and the Constitution was signed. Crazy that it all started in these small rooms where 13 men came to meet. Saw the tomb of the unknown soldier, saw a court house and the philosopher's house. Saw some old merchant's house and a trading house. Then found the City Tavern - ah, one of my favorites :-). I needed food, and it was a historic relic too! All the waiters were wearing colonial garb, and most of their foods were ala that time - stews and duck and all. I had a cool beer sampler with 4 beers: George Washington Tavern Porter, Thomas Jefferson's 1774 Tavern Ale, Poor Richard's Ale (my favorite - not hoppy and like molasses), and Philadelphia Pale Ale. Then I got a pepperpot soup with beef and taro and greens. And a bread plate - which I loved. The bread was awesome - one piece was made with molasses, and another were little dense circles of bread with nuts that they saw was T Jefferson's recipe for sweet bread or something. Tasty :-).
So after putting some good stuff in my tummy, I sauntered over and saw the water. Then walked up to see Elfrath's Alley where they had preserved 18th Century houses and the narrow street with cobblestones. They were all different colors and very close together and cute. They all had their own sort of symbol or crest posted on them. Quaint! Then I went through Betsy Ross's house - only thing I actually paid for. It was cute and the people were nice. Can't believe she operated in such small quarters! And in secret... Then went through Ben Franklin court where his house used to be and he owned a lot of merchant/rental houses. Then back to Independence Square where I saw the first and second banks of the US, and the Carpenter's Hall which was big back during revolutionary time. So yeah - I covered all the historical buildings pretty much :-). Then decided to head out of historical old downtown and go west. Walked along Market Street until I hit City Hall which is a massive, ornate building in the middle of the city. There was a very beautifully carved Masonic Temple on a corner there, and on another corner was Love Park. That's where - if you've heard of it - a famous sculptor did a "Love" scuplture - just with the word itself. It's famous - looks like:
LO
VE
(with the O tipped). I've seen it on stamps and stuff. So, that was neat. Then I walked over (via some shopping streets) to Rittenhouse Square which a friend had told me was a cute area. It probably would've been except with daylight savings I got there around 5:15 and it was already dark! So not a lot going on in this park, but it was nice. So I had walked basically from almost 0 (the river) to almost 19th - across the whole city! And then I wanted to go get a Philly cheesesteak from this place on 4th street, so I walked down to South Street and over back to 4th! Lots of walking - exhausting :-). But as I got closer to 4th, there were a lot of funky stores along South Street that were fun to see - restaurants and clothing stores and bars and lots of young people :-). I finally made it to my Philly cheesesteak place (Jim's) and thought I could finally rest. Well, I stood in line for like 20 minutes to get a cheesesteak! Place was crowded - locals liked it I heard. But chatted a bit with the people around me (remarkable how a Texas sweatshirt will start conversations) in line. Anyway, finally got my cheesesteak - I chose American cheese NOT Cheese Whiz. Don't know if that's cheating, but who likes Cheese Whiz? It's like plastic! And then I got onions and red peppers and mushrooms - yum :-). Decided just to take it to go and grabbed a cab (finally no walking!) to Chinatown to grab my bus. I just didn't want to wait a whole hour for the next bus to leave - wanted to catch the 7pm bus. Which I made it for, however, it was late and departure was pushed back to 7:30 so it didn't matter. But when I did finally get the bus stuff settled, I wolfed down my Philly cheesesteak and boy was it tasty! Yay :-). Food makes me quite happy. So all in all a great day in Philly! I think I experienced A TON in a small amount of time. I got here around 10:20 am and adventured until 7pm while carrying all my stuff. I'm pretty impressed with myself :-). Now I'm on the 2.5 hour bus ride back to NY and happy to be sitting. Who can beat a $10 bus ride back?!
Ok, this is really long - better sign off. Tomorrow: moving to Union Square area. I'm sad to do this because my roommate and I were becoming friends and I'll miss her, and my neighborhood. Plus moving is never fun, but it'll be my last in NYC! And after that I hope I have a lower key life for awhile! Jenn out.
P.S. I hurt the back of my knee ligament while biking last night - feels strained. Boo :-(. Walking all day didn't particularly help it...
So I had to walk to the subway, then take the subway, then walk again - took longer than I thought. And I went to some random street corner in Chinatown to catch my cheap bus. These ladies were standing there going "You want bus - hurry get on now." Literally just a bus on a corner - I gave them $20 to go to Baltimore, and they ushered me on the bus and told me it was leaving soon. Instead it was pretty full already and it left 15 minutes before I thought it was scheduled to leave. I was really hoping it'd actually stop in Baltimore because it was the bus to DC. So I wrote emails, wrote blog, read a paper, and slept my 3.5 hours away, and suddenly we were in Baltimore and they just dropped us at a random street corner there too! How strange. I waited in a McDonalds for Christine (we were early), and then she was there! It was great talking and catching up with her. We are best friends, and she just KNOWS me and there's so much comfort in that. And as she said "Jenn, we are the same." Twins separated at birth, I said :-). Except her curly hair is dark... Anyway, it was fun to talk. We went home and waiting for her husband Jeff to come home, then went to dinner in very cute downtown Annapolis at Buddy's Ribs and Crabs. Yum - Maryland crab cakes :-). Then on Christine's behest we baked a triple chocolate fudge cake for the following day. We never could figure out the 3rd chocolate (it had chips in it). It was fun :-). Felt very domestic. Then we watched a movie - I took forever to look through their movie collection and pick, but we watched "The Sum of All Fears" which was really good. Christine fell asleep, but I made it :-).
We had a late night that night, and then I had to check on work stuff at the end, so I slept in until 11:30 on Saturday morning. :-). It was great sleep though! Something about suburbia and darkness, and a comfortable spacious room, and warmth, no noise = good sleep. Was nice to do that, although I felt a little bad that it limited what we did for the day. But I finally got ready and we left to get a very delicious Lebanese lunch (which Christine and I love but Jeff doesn't). I got lamb fatteh which has lamb chunks, chick peas, pine nuts, and pita chips all in a yogurt sauce - tasty. And they made their own fresh wheat pitas which were awesome. I enjoyed our chat about Harry Potter and the failures of the 1-3 Star Wars movies. Then we had a great conversation about the perils of grad school on the way to Christine's football game. So Jeff and I watched her play touch football which was really fun! Just hanging out - it was slightly chilly, but the sun was out. We cheered them on, and Christine scored 3 out of their 4 touchdowns! Rock! Fun to encourage the team, and because I had my camera it was requested that I take the group picture too :-). They played well - fun times. And btw, they have some beautiful fall colors on trees around here too! Then we went back to Christine's house to meet up with friends for dinner. Amy and Ryan who had come up to NYC for Wicked came, and Amy's husband. We went out for a nice dinner at "Four Seasons Grill". They had a really good menu where I wanted to try many things. We got this shrimp appetizer with spicy sauce over zucchini which was good. Then I got scallop ginger risotto (almost got veal scallopini instead). It was very tasty, although I've had better risotto. But it was fun to hang out with everybody. It strikes me that I was not in New York. For one, a lot of conversation is about the government and politics and campaigns (Amy's husband does campaigning down here). For another, we drive everywhere - everything is spread out and there's more suburbia and lots of large strip malls. It's what I grew up in, and it is slightly soothing. I think a lot of the way New York is is based on the limited space there, and the premium for space. Things are closer together, shops are smaller, you can walk more places, etc. Different. But anyway - we had a nice dinner, then went back to Christine's and hung out and had cake. Did I mention I ate too many sweets at Christine's? It was too tempting - she had a bag of leftover Halloween candy too :-). But the cake was delicious - I actually liked the white cream cheese frosting better than the chocolate. Christine had frosted it in a checker pattern :-). Fun. Then the friends left. They are really nice people. I kept thinking that I felt really comfortable there - like these are "my kind of people". That's a nice feeling; comforting. I told Christine maybe I should move close to her because it'd be fun. I want to encourage her to do a triathlon and that would be easier if we could train together! But yeah, good times. So we watched another movie - put in Star Trek #6. But this time I quickly fell asleep :-). Christine fell asleep too, though!
So we got an extra hour of sleep - yay! And I actually had to pay attention to daylight savings because I had to catch a 8:48am train to Philadelphia! So I was sad to leave - short visit with Christine, but still a quality one. Always fun. Good friends :-). I wanted her to come to Philly with me, but she had homework to do. So now - off to Philly!
So let me just say - do what I say, not what I do. I don't recommend anyone actually walk around Philly for the whole day with a backpack, purse, coat, and rolly weekend bag (with laptop) to carry the whole time. It's exhausting! But I made it :-). Good adventures. So took Amtrack up to the city, then metro to get to the Independence Hall area. Went and picked up tickets for the Independence Hall tour, then walked over to see a Quaker meeting house and Ben Franklin's grave. Wow, was Ben Franklin a really influential man! I'm impressed by him. Did you know he was basically our first ambassador to France and got us a lot of money from them for the American Revolution? And he also had severe gout? And little education? Awesome :-). Anyway, went through and saw the Liberty Bell. Love it's symbolism - they used it as a symbol against slavery even. But the actual bell is smaller than I thought. Then went to my tour of the building where the Declaration of Independence was written and the Constitution was signed. Crazy that it all started in these small rooms where 13 men came to meet. Saw the tomb of the unknown soldier, saw a court house and the philosopher's house. Saw some old merchant's house and a trading house. Then found the City Tavern - ah, one of my favorites :-). I needed food, and it was a historic relic too! All the waiters were wearing colonial garb, and most of their foods were ala that time - stews and duck and all. I had a cool beer sampler with 4 beers: George Washington Tavern Porter, Thomas Jefferson's 1774 Tavern Ale, Poor Richard's Ale (my favorite - not hoppy and like molasses), and Philadelphia Pale Ale. Then I got a pepperpot soup with beef and taro and greens. And a bread plate - which I loved. The bread was awesome - one piece was made with molasses, and another were little dense circles of bread with nuts that they saw was T Jefferson's recipe for sweet bread or something. Tasty :-).
So after putting some good stuff in my tummy, I sauntered over and saw the water. Then walked up to see Elfrath's Alley where they had preserved 18th Century houses and the narrow street with cobblestones. They were all different colors and very close together and cute. They all had their own sort of symbol or crest posted on them. Quaint! Then I went through Betsy Ross's house - only thing I actually paid for. It was cute and the people were nice. Can't believe she operated in such small quarters! And in secret... Then went through Ben Franklin court where his house used to be and he owned a lot of merchant/rental houses. Then back to Independence Square where I saw the first and second banks of the US, and the Carpenter's Hall which was big back during revolutionary time. So yeah - I covered all the historical buildings pretty much :-). Then decided to head out of historical old downtown and go west. Walked along Market Street until I hit City Hall which is a massive, ornate building in the middle of the city. There was a very beautifully carved Masonic Temple on a corner there, and on another corner was Love Park. That's where - if you've heard of it - a famous sculptor did a "Love" scuplture - just with the word itself. It's famous - looks like:
LO
VE
(with the O tipped). I've seen it on stamps and stuff. So, that was neat. Then I walked over (via some shopping streets) to Rittenhouse Square which a friend had told me was a cute area. It probably would've been except with daylight savings I got there around 5:15 and it was already dark! So not a lot going on in this park, but it was nice. So I had walked basically from almost 0 (the river) to almost 19th - across the whole city! And then I wanted to go get a Philly cheesesteak from this place on 4th street, so I walked down to South Street and over back to 4th! Lots of walking - exhausting :-). But as I got closer to 4th, there were a lot of funky stores along South Street that were fun to see - restaurants and clothing stores and bars and lots of young people :-). I finally made it to my Philly cheesesteak place (Jim's) and thought I could finally rest. Well, I stood in line for like 20 minutes to get a cheesesteak! Place was crowded - locals liked it I heard. But chatted a bit with the people around me (remarkable how a Texas sweatshirt will start conversations) in line. Anyway, finally got my cheesesteak - I chose American cheese NOT Cheese Whiz. Don't know if that's cheating, but who likes Cheese Whiz? It's like plastic! And then I got onions and red peppers and mushrooms - yum :-). Decided just to take it to go and grabbed a cab (finally no walking!) to Chinatown to grab my bus. I just didn't want to wait a whole hour for the next bus to leave - wanted to catch the 7pm bus. Which I made it for, however, it was late and departure was pushed back to 7:30 so it didn't matter. But when I did finally get the bus stuff settled, I wolfed down my Philly cheesesteak and boy was it tasty! Yay :-). Food makes me quite happy. So all in all a great day in Philly! I think I experienced A TON in a small amount of time. I got here around 10:20 am and adventured until 7pm while carrying all my stuff. I'm pretty impressed with myself :-). Now I'm on the 2.5 hour bus ride back to NY and happy to be sitting. Who can beat a $10 bus ride back?!
Ok, this is really long - better sign off. Tomorrow: moving to Union Square area. I'm sad to do this because my roommate and I were becoming friends and I'll miss her, and my neighborhood. Plus moving is never fun, but it'll be my last in NYC! And after that I hope I have a lower key life for awhile! Jenn out.
P.S. I hurt the back of my knee ligament while biking last night - feels strained. Boo :-(. Walking all day didn't particularly help it...
Halloween + play
So, although I didn't feel like it, I went out on Halloween night in Manhattan. How could I not? I live in the Village where most of the celebration happens anyway, and I heard people party all night this particular night (even though it was a Wednesday). There is a parade up 6th Ave which isn't far from where I live. So after I got home from work I slightly dressed up (red Chinese top, boots, chopsticks in my hair, and black lipstick - using Mary's trick of eyeliner), and went out on the town. I got there an hour after the parade actually started, but it didn't seem to matter. My street, Christopher street was blocked off anyway - closed to traffic. And people were already out in force in all sorts of costumes. Wonderwoman was a popular costume. Of course, guys dressing up as beautiful women was plentiful in my neighborhood. Then there were the winged creatures, and the traditional dark figures of Halloween. But boy were people out in force and crazy. There was no way to cross 6th, and cops were swarming around the area anyway doing crowd control. They were doing that on 7th Ave. too. So there was a huge swarm of people actually on 6th when I got there. I did stop at a cart to get a skewer of chicken :-). But wow - people brought carts to stand on so they could see the parade, so as a short individual several rows back it was really hard to see. I wandered around for awhile trying to figure out how to see and looking at people in the process :-). Took some pictures of crazy costumes. Then I finally wiggled into a spot where I could see the parade. I took some pictures - will try to post the best ones, but it was really hard for the pictures to turn out well. It was dark, so I tried flash, but it would illuminate the people's heads in front of me instead of the parade things 30 feet away. But I got some good pictures. There were some fantastic floats - people on stilts and bands and groups with ghosts or birds or some theme held up high on sticks. There were trucks that held a whole bunch of people - or a band playing. One such band was "Witches in Bikinis" - there were like 6 girls in bikinis singing, each had a different color on and a matching wig of hair :-). Of course there were the requisite very skimpily dressed people. Saw several Austin Powers. My favorite was the few groups of people impersonating subway cars :-). Several robots. Saw a really neat peacock person. And some people even had their dogs dressed up walking with them - one was a lion. Saw an atlas, many pope/bishops, Mr. Incredible, a keg, many ladybugs, several people dressed up as a penis, jedi, very cool adam and eve costumes, Gi Joe and a gigantic hand (I wasn't sure about that one), saw lego men which were awesome. There was a good one of George Bush that had a toilet seat around his neck with a sign saying "Sewage W. Bush, after he talks, then you flush". I actually finally got to the barrier that held people away from the street. There was a cop in the street right in front of us making sure people didn't hop the barrier and cross the street. I don't know what the problem with that was - a lot of the parade was just people walking in costumes. So we played tricks on Mr. Cop and snuck people through :-). That was funny. So basically general madness and huge crowds - all out for fun and for dressing up. After awhile (standing there over 2 hours) I decided to bail. I met up with Mo (softball guy) who had a really hard time crossing 6th (he lives on the East side, me on the West). But he finally found me and we walked through the west side to my neighborhood, passing more characters and just huge numbers of people along the way. It was about 10:30 at this point. We hit huge crowds around 7th Ave and had to push our way through to cross. Crazy. We went to my local bar that I really like - The Otheroom. It's small and neighborhoody and has good beer and wine. There of course there were people in costume - saw a penguin (reminded me of the Linux penguin), and a guy walked in who was a shower - literally had metal bars around his head from which hung a white shower curtain. I kept wondering if he had clothes on underneath :-). We had a beer or 2 then decided to bail because we are lame and it was a school night :-). But walking around Hudson at 12:15am there were still huge crowds out, bars were full, the streets were full of people - no change. This city really never sleeps! I heard it'd be crazy. Bars close around 4am and I have no doubt many people stayed out that late that night. Altho surprisingly they didn't keep me up outside my window. Nice. It was a nice Halloween - I'm glad I got to experience the craziness even if I wasn't that into it myself!
Thursday was fun. Ramon, carpool guy, wanted to come home early from work unexpectedly. So we left around 4:15 and got back around 5:30 (traffic - ugh). He was stressed out about work and asked if I wanted to hang out before my show at 8. So I suggested dinner because I'm trying to stay away from too many beer calories. So we went to a favorite restaurant of his - a fish place called Pearl's Oyster Bar (I think). It was a cute little restaurant - really fresh seafood. I like the fact that menus here are little and they have specials written on a chalkboard nearby. So this place was pretty nice, but informal with really good service and good food. We both got a bowl of clam chowder (with smoked bacon - yum). And the tables came already set with oyster crackers which I thought was funny. Then Ramon got grilled bass and I got a lobster roll on his recommendation. I thought I'd just get fish, but I hadn't had this before, and he said this was really common in Maine and this restaurant did it awesomely. He said it used to be that lobster were really cheap so this was really common to get on the street - mostly poor people ate it, and they gave it to prisoners. But it was on a toasted bun, and lumps of lobster perfectly cooked were pilled high on it with light sauce - some mayo perhaps? I don't know, but it was slightly rich and wonderfully delicious :-). Ramon actually offered to pay! Feel bad because he's already driving me to work everyday (altho I buy gas), but was honored for the offer. Nice guy. Fun to have friends from every different realm of life. So we parted and I went to my off-Broadway play at the Acorn Theater!
The play was called "Things We Want" and directed by Ethan Hawke (but unfortunately he wasn't there). There were 3 brothers dealing with their issues in the play, then 1 neighbor girl - that's it. It was a small theater too, so we were close to the stage which was fun. I knew 2 of the guys in it - one is a famous midget and the other is the son in "Little Miss Sunshine" (movie). So basically the play is set in the home the 3 brothers grew up in, but their parents both killed themselves in the house, and the brothers are now grown and dealing with life. 2 are alcoholics, and the 3rd is always dealing with women problems and perpetually heartbroken and wanting to sulk. I like the themes, and tho it was a bit dark, was very funny. I liked the characters, but I felt it could've been better acted. Plus, although the play had some neat themes, it seemed to just end. What's up with that - is that a new popular way to end stories? Because it urks me. I wondered what the point of it was... But I was still glad I saw the play. Pretty fun. Although I think I'll wait awhile to see more plays - you can get an overload, especially if you don't know the quality of the play you are getting. So walked my 3 miles home :-). It was a chilly night, but not too bad.
Got up early today to exercise - went biking at 8:30am! And let me tell you was that a stupid idea. Apparently it's windy EVERY time I want to go biking. I guess it doesn't help that I bike along the river. But it can just bite through you, and it makes my eyes water. I had my fingerless biking gloves on, but then my fingers were freezing, and my toes too. But I did warm up as I go, but my face got more and more chapped. I ended up going up to my old neighborhood again - 95th St., then turned around. The way back was WAY better - fantastic! I booked it and went (I felt) twice as fast as when I was fighting the wind. Or maybe the wind had abated, but it was way more fun and slightly warmer :-). So proud of myself for that. Then I got ready, and went to my favorite neighborhood coffee shop (yay!) that had now perfected their apple-pumpkin bread. Stayed there an hour before I took off to find the bus to ride down to Maryland to visit Christine!
Thursday was fun. Ramon, carpool guy, wanted to come home early from work unexpectedly. So we left around 4:15 and got back around 5:30 (traffic - ugh). He was stressed out about work and asked if I wanted to hang out before my show at 8. So I suggested dinner because I'm trying to stay away from too many beer calories. So we went to a favorite restaurant of his - a fish place called Pearl's Oyster Bar (I think). It was a cute little restaurant - really fresh seafood. I like the fact that menus here are little and they have specials written on a chalkboard nearby. So this place was pretty nice, but informal with really good service and good food. We both got a bowl of clam chowder (with smoked bacon - yum). And the tables came already set with oyster crackers which I thought was funny. Then Ramon got grilled bass and I got a lobster roll on his recommendation. I thought I'd just get fish, but I hadn't had this before, and he said this was really common in Maine and this restaurant did it awesomely. He said it used to be that lobster were really cheap so this was really common to get on the street - mostly poor people ate it, and they gave it to prisoners. But it was on a toasted bun, and lumps of lobster perfectly cooked were pilled high on it with light sauce - some mayo perhaps? I don't know, but it was slightly rich and wonderfully delicious :-). Ramon actually offered to pay! Feel bad because he's already driving me to work everyday (altho I buy gas), but was honored for the offer. Nice guy. Fun to have friends from every different realm of life. So we parted and I went to my off-Broadway play at the Acorn Theater!
The play was called "Things We Want" and directed by Ethan Hawke (but unfortunately he wasn't there). There were 3 brothers dealing with their issues in the play, then 1 neighbor girl - that's it. It was a small theater too, so we were close to the stage which was fun. I knew 2 of the guys in it - one is a famous midget and the other is the son in "Little Miss Sunshine" (movie). So basically the play is set in the home the 3 brothers grew up in, but their parents both killed themselves in the house, and the brothers are now grown and dealing with life. 2 are alcoholics, and the 3rd is always dealing with women problems and perpetually heartbroken and wanting to sulk. I like the themes, and tho it was a bit dark, was very funny. I liked the characters, but I felt it could've been better acted. Plus, although the play had some neat themes, it seemed to just end. What's up with that - is that a new popular way to end stories? Because it urks me. I wondered what the point of it was... But I was still glad I saw the play. Pretty fun. Although I think I'll wait awhile to see more plays - you can get an overload, especially if you don't know the quality of the play you are getting. So walked my 3 miles home :-). It was a chilly night, but not too bad.
Got up early today to exercise - went biking at 8:30am! And let me tell you was that a stupid idea. Apparently it's windy EVERY time I want to go biking. I guess it doesn't help that I bike along the river. But it can just bite through you, and it makes my eyes water. I had my fingerless biking gloves on, but then my fingers were freezing, and my toes too. But I did warm up as I go, but my face got more and more chapped. I ended up going up to my old neighborhood again - 95th St., then turned around. The way back was WAY better - fantastic! I booked it and went (I felt) twice as fast as when I was fighting the wind. Or maybe the wind had abated, but it was way more fun and slightly warmer :-). So proud of myself for that. Then I got ready, and went to my favorite neighborhood coffee shop (yay!) that had now perfected their apple-pumpkin bread. Stayed there an hour before I took off to find the bus to ride down to Maryland to visit Christine!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Apology
[Forward teaser - at the bottom is a link to my Montreal pics!]
Hey All - I just wanted to apologize for my last post. Not that it's not true - I am dealing with some stuff and brooding a lot and all. But I did not need to be as morose and negative about it. I tend to do that - don't know why I make drama out of things. And yes, it's been brought to my attention that I mostly talk about the negative side of things (because that's the side I need to get out to deal with and get help with), but I don't always express all the positive.
So I am happy. This week has been a lot better. I'm really glad Naveen and I have been talking. It's not always easy, but it really does open my eyes and challenge me a lot. And I know it seems like a lot of philosophizing, Mom, but I really do enjoy that and see it as a way to grow, as a way to understand different people and being human. Getting down to the heart of who you are can be difficult (and isn't always explanable), but I like the privilege :-). Although at first I have a hard time dealing with these things that are pointed out that sort of seem like deep parts of me - I turn inward and do some self-deprecating and say I'm all a mess - it's not really true. I am a strong person with great people around me, but my foundation was just slightly rocked and I haven't figured out how to put it into perspective yet. I'm not suddenly a bad person, though. And I need to not negatively dramatize it as much. I have been realizing more recently that I can have a powerful effect on people just by the mood I am in, so I have to pay attention. I wonder how many people are in general aware of their mood changes as they interact with people, and how those reflect back - how you can really change other's moods?
Anyway - he's a happy top N list of things in my life now (in no particular order):
1. Being experimental with vegetables lately and the wonderful farmer's markets here.
2. Getting the chance to live in Manhattan - how privileged am I?!
3. Living here for 6 months and 2 very different seasons, and in 3 different neighborhoods - lots of breadth which is really fun :-).
4. Wearing new clothes I bought here 3 of 4 days this week :-).
5. Actually finding a couple of cool New Yorkers who are really good people and who are nice to me.
6. Having exercised 4-7 times per week consistently for over a year now - go me!
7. Getting random people's attention (males) - sometimes it's fun :-). Today I got told I look like (older actress) Juliet Prowse.
8. Wearing new earrings I got in Montreal today - really pretty! Metal fired with lots of colors.
9. Walking everywhere.
10. Awesome close family and friends around me who tell me they care about me every week and can't wait to see me.
11. A planned trip to see my family for Christmas - can't wait to go back to AZ!
12. Enjoying what I do, even if research is frustrating, and working with people I admire.
13. Going back to Austin in less than 5 weeks now!
14. Being strong willed - yes, it's a positive.
15. Loving some wonderful people.
16. Not burning bridges - hopefully even strengthening them ;-).
Also - I will post later about cooking eggplant (it succeeded), the CRAZINESS that is Manhattan Halloween and the parade, and tonight - going out to seafood and an off-Broadway play. I'm doing too much to keep up with it in my blog!
Bonus: Montreal pics!
http://www1.snapfish.com/share/p=50111193976265901/l=320145333/g=50971540/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB
Yay, Jenn
Hey All - I just wanted to apologize for my last post. Not that it's not true - I am dealing with some stuff and brooding a lot and all. But I did not need to be as morose and negative about it. I tend to do that - don't know why I make drama out of things. And yes, it's been brought to my attention that I mostly talk about the negative side of things (because that's the side I need to get out to deal with and get help with), but I don't always express all the positive.
So I am happy. This week has been a lot better. I'm really glad Naveen and I have been talking. It's not always easy, but it really does open my eyes and challenge me a lot. And I know it seems like a lot of philosophizing, Mom, but I really do enjoy that and see it as a way to grow, as a way to understand different people and being human. Getting down to the heart of who you are can be difficult (and isn't always explanable), but I like the privilege :-). Although at first I have a hard time dealing with these things that are pointed out that sort of seem like deep parts of me - I turn inward and do some self-deprecating and say I'm all a mess - it's not really true. I am a strong person with great people around me, but my foundation was just slightly rocked and I haven't figured out how to put it into perspective yet. I'm not suddenly a bad person, though. And I need to not negatively dramatize it as much. I have been realizing more recently that I can have a powerful effect on people just by the mood I am in, so I have to pay attention. I wonder how many people are in general aware of their mood changes as they interact with people, and how those reflect back - how you can really change other's moods?
Anyway - he's a happy top N list of things in my life now (in no particular order):
1. Being experimental with vegetables lately and the wonderful farmer's markets here.
2. Getting the chance to live in Manhattan - how privileged am I?!
3. Living here for 6 months and 2 very different seasons, and in 3 different neighborhoods - lots of breadth which is really fun :-).
4. Wearing new clothes I bought here 3 of 4 days this week :-).
5. Actually finding a couple of cool New Yorkers who are really good people and who are nice to me.
6. Having exercised 4-7 times per week consistently for over a year now - go me!
7. Getting random people's attention (males) - sometimes it's fun :-). Today I got told I look like (older actress) Juliet Prowse.
8. Wearing new earrings I got in Montreal today - really pretty! Metal fired with lots of colors.
9. Walking everywhere.
10. Awesome close family and friends around me who tell me they care about me every week and can't wait to see me.
11. A planned trip to see my family for Christmas - can't wait to go back to AZ!
12. Enjoying what I do, even if research is frustrating, and working with people I admire.
13. Going back to Austin in less than 5 weeks now!
14. Being strong willed - yes, it's a positive.
15. Loving some wonderful people.
16. Not burning bridges - hopefully even strengthening them ;-).
Also - I will post later about cooking eggplant (it succeeded), the CRAZINESS that is Manhattan Halloween and the parade, and tonight - going out to seafood and an off-Broadway play. I'm doing too much to keep up with it in my blog!
Bonus: Montreal pics!
http://www1.snapfish.com/share/p=50111193976265901/l=320145333/g=50971540/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB
Yay, Jenn
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
It's Not You, It's Me - aka I'm Broken
Well, the subject could be true, probably. Too many things swirling around in my head, but let me first tell you about my weekend.
Back in NYC - rainy NYC at that. Got up late Saturday. After moseying around the house for awhile, I finally got up and went out. I'd been craving a cinnamon bun-like breakfast, so I wandered awhile in the rain until I found one. You wouldn't believe how hard they are to find - danishs and bagels and muffins are easy... Anyway. Tasty treat, but sugary. And I find raisins very sweet. Anyway, I continued on my walk to Union Square for the fabulous Farmer's Market that I love so much. I don't know what it is, but really I found that that is a sure fire way to cheer me up - take me to a farmer's market where there's fresh, local, seasonal good stuff :-). Awesome. I can spend all my money there... Got some eggplant - going to try to cook it. My new experiment. I want to try brussel sprouts next. Oh and I had some nifty pear cider there. Ah, fall. Loaded up with good stuff (actually too much!), I bussed back home. Then left again for my afternoon adventure. I decided to check out the "Pier of Fear" that wasn't too far from my house - basically they had a "Halloween Haunted HOuse" of sorts. Of course it was free - that's the kind of activity I like. And it was the first haunted house that actually scared me - I was really impressed. Some kids were going - like 6-7 years old, and I can't imagine how THEY felt! So it was cool. They let you into a "building" called "Maximum Security Prison". You were lead into a pitch black room, then lectured on how you were in the prison system now and all liberties and freedoms were taken away. They owned you now. Then, oddly, through this dark prison maze you went, and you were once again considered a guest of the prison because one of the crazy inmates took one of us (who worked for the haunted house) hostage, and forced the guard to open up all cells in the prison. So the rest of the haunted house was us innocent folk trying to get out of the prison w/o being harmed. They had some neat rooms and effects - like the dentists room, the room where they did experimental dissections, the laundryroom with burning steam, the visitation room, the warden's office (he was dead of course), and the room with the electric chair. The prisoners were pretty creepy - one had on a Hannibal mask. So it wasn't just playing on startling you. Fun times. We made it out :-). Then I walked to see a movie - David Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises" with Viggo Mortensen. Although I didn't like Cronenberg's Existenz movie much, I really liked this one. Good story, good cast. About sorta the Russian mafia in London. Fun. Then I walked up to the 9th Ave restaurant row area. But that's a lot of walking let me tell you - from my place a couple of blocks up from Houston to 52nd! Google maps says it's over 3 miles, and I walked both there and back :-).
Anyway - dinner. So I wanted to try Afghan food becuase I'm weird about trying different cuisines. I went to an Afghan Kabob house and it was AWESOME! Not sure what made it different spice-wise, but the combo kabob plate I got (lamb, beef, and chicken) was fantastic. The flat Afghan bread was tasty, as was the rice and salad. I especially liked the sauces - they had a spicy red one that I really liked, and a yogurty one for the salad. Yum. But yeah - so explain this to me. So that is all I actually ordered - the kabob plate. I was toying with getting a side order of spinach, but thought the main dish would be enough food. But the waiter, who initially seemed the type to ignore me, kept bringing me free food! He misunderstood and brought an appetizer of sort of fried pockets of spinach which were awesome. Then he insisted that he'd just bring the cooked spinach side dish for me to try, on the house. Then I finished and thought that was it, but he put a dessert - some sort of thick pudding with pistachios on top - in front of me. I didn't ask for it. Then he insisted I get tea to help digest when I told him I was full. Everything was good, but I have no idea why he kept bringing me food. Took pity on the girl by herself? He only billed me for the kabobs, but what he brought was like worth twice that. So I left a good tip :-). Tho I was full, I had passed a Tast-D-Lite on the way up with Peanut Butter Fudge ice cream which I've been craving. So I had to get some on the way back :-). And lo and behold they had a lady playing a guitar and singing there for an hour - it was kind a coffee shop. So I stayed and listened for awhile. Then took the long walk back home. Nice day. But it was getting chilly!
So Since it's supposed to be sunny on Sunday, I plan to get up and bike ride. Which I do, however "sunny" doesn't mean "warm". It was actually very chilly and WINDY! Not the best for biking, but I made it :-). Went for just over 2 horus! Unwisely I went along the river which is worse for wind. But I wanted to check out the track next to the water down by Battery Park. It was pretty - with nice views of New Jersey. Then I biked up to Central Park because I also wanted to see the hall of Maple Trees in the pictures I bought. Finally found it (it's not really accessible by bike). It was pretty, altho sadly the leaves haven't changed yet. But it was nice - there was some benefit going on for urology and I got a free apple and banana :-). But my hands were cold and I was tired by the time I finished seeing the trees, so I tried to hurry home and took a very hot shower. And this is when I got out my scarf and gloves :-).
So I set off for another adventure: Jackson Heights in Queens. So it's a great place for food, so I've been told. I printed a list of the top 5 food carts in New York and they were all in Jackson Heights. There are a lot of other good restaurants there too, so it was nice to walk around - but not the nicest neighborhood. So I first walked through the Spanish speaking places - saw Cuban, Philipino food places. Looked interesting. I got a supposedly very good tamale here for $1.50 at a cart. It was tasty but not enough filling for me - mostly corn. Walking, I saw a Tibetan Yak food place. Then as I proceeded the signs changed to some Asian languages. Then Halal food carts - I got a chicken plate from Sammy's. I didn't eat it until later, but it was awesome - I got all three sauces - but I think I went overboard when I told him to put more hot red sauce :-). What is it with me and spicy lately? But anyway - kept walking around - got some roasted nuts :-). Then I hit Little India - seriously. Everyone on the street was Indian ALL OF A SUDDEN - these are micro-cosms. All restaurants were Indian and every store had beautiful saris or had Indian groceries (Patel Brother's - cracked me up). Then back to Roosevelt street, and we were back to Mexican sweet shops and the like. Very interesting area. Fun stuff. I got a Mexican dessert thing from a cart (not on my list) - like thin wafers, and she put homemade caramel sauce in a thin layer between. Tasty :-). So I took the subway back and ate my chicken dish in Washington Square park while watching some crazy people and listening to the pots and pans drummer guy. Interesting :-). Then I headed home via the grocery store - another good day. And I had a nice chat with my roommate that night. Just as we are becoming friends - I have to leave, boo. I wish I didn't have to move, but it'll be next Monday. But that'll bring me closer to Austin - only 5 weeks and counting folks!
I've been up and down lately, and in circles really. This weekend was hard because I am just lonely. I guess I just don't have enough people to talk to. It was hard to come back from vacation to sort of realize it really didn't matter to anyone that I was back. I mean - I still had a good weekend, just felt a little empty. I was happy to come back to work, but then realized yesterday I don't really talk to people at work either. Although I wore my new wool skirt which I like :-). And there were some good times - talking with Maria was nice. And I called Dad and had a really nice conversation with him last night. I think we are getting along better. Oddly enough I think I understand him better. Just thinking a lot recently about different interactions wtih different kinds of people - this isn't specifically about my Dad. And there are people that each of us are "rubbed the wrong way by" or we "speak a different (love) language". But just because different people show they love you in different ways (or they communicate in different ways) - maybe ways you don't understand - doesn't mean they don't love you. You just have to put more effort into understanding their language or way of communicating.
So here's the thing - again back to this: how much do you say "this is who I am", and how much are you willing to deconstruct yourself and change? I like to believe that I'm always out for bettering myself, for changing, but God it's hard. You can't just recognize flaws, or even be willing to be told your flaws. You have to pay attention to how they manifest themselves whether intentional or not, and then make a concerted effort to possibly change that. Or like if a way you speak seems aggressive to another person, or timid, or whatever they don't respond well to, and you find out - what do you do? Do you say "I'm aggressive, tough for them." Or do you want to interact with them in a more positive manor, so change how you speak only with them. Or do you change how you speak with all people becuase it could always seem aggressive to others. Do you analyze why you seem to be aggressive? These things that seem like our inate responses to things - to how someone speaks: are they changable? Yes, I believe, but it's difficult and not overnight and you have to weigh the benefit. Deconstructing yourself isn't easy.
And slightly on topic - I feel lost. I think I've communicated this before some, but I really do. And I try to do things to make this feeling lessened, but I think it's a systemic thing, not an immediate thing to be fixed. Also hard. On my marathon phone call with Naveen last night, he said he is basically too confident and needs to scale that back some. EDIT: Not scale back - confidence is good, but realize that being very confident isn't always the best strategy when dealing with all people. /EDIT The reason? Safety. I hope he doesn't mind me saying this, but this was a really interesting thing to me. He said he sees it being correlated with your parent's being together, and you having a strong, close support network. I took offense to this of course (assuming the implication that I didn't have these things, and thus not safety). But partly it is true. He has always lived in Illinois close to his family and most of his friends are there. He is very close to his friends - more so than me, and his parents are together. So I wonder if some of these things are the reason I feel lost. I do have a support network and it's been getting stronger - at least it was before I left Austin. And that's part of why I'm having a hard time now that I am away. Proximity matters. That's why I so desperately want to get back because that is one of the only things that'll make me feel better. And I want to create that safety around me back in Austin, too - it's not there by default. Because then maybe it'll be easier to deal with other things - everything. Maybe if I feel safe I can deal with criticism better, with judgment better. That came up last night too - I don't deal with judgment well, or people who have strong opinions and sort of dogmatically voice them. I like people who are outwardly more inviting, more forgiving, more accepting of people. So then I won't be judged harshly see :-). I won't be put into the "not good enough" or "bad" category. Don't know why I'm afraid of this. Don't know why I put up defenses and feel personally attacked by those people. Because they aren't personally attacking me just because they have strong opinions. I guess I sort of internally believe judgment is harsh - sort of a negative quality. But Naveen believes it is a good quality to have - you have to judge to know good from bad, to know what you want to be or who you want yourself to be surrouunded by. But I guess I feel threatened by negative judgments, and thereby I don't try to put those on other people myself. But they are not always bad, and they do not always reflect badly on me.
Anyway, I'm rambling and this is a long post. Of course I'm still struggling with all these thoughts, so if you have opinions on them, please let me know :-). I'd like to hear. And also if you have comments on what I could do for a day while in Philadelphia, let me know that too! I'm going to go back through there after visiting Christine (yay!) this weekend. Ok, back to being my broken self, at work.
Back in NYC - rainy NYC at that. Got up late Saturday. After moseying around the house for awhile, I finally got up and went out. I'd been craving a cinnamon bun-like breakfast, so I wandered awhile in the rain until I found one. You wouldn't believe how hard they are to find - danishs and bagels and muffins are easy... Anyway. Tasty treat, but sugary. And I find raisins very sweet. Anyway, I continued on my walk to Union Square for the fabulous Farmer's Market that I love so much. I don't know what it is, but really I found that that is a sure fire way to cheer me up - take me to a farmer's market where there's fresh, local, seasonal good stuff :-). Awesome. I can spend all my money there... Got some eggplant - going to try to cook it. My new experiment. I want to try brussel sprouts next. Oh and I had some nifty pear cider there. Ah, fall. Loaded up with good stuff (actually too much!), I bussed back home. Then left again for my afternoon adventure. I decided to check out the "Pier of Fear" that wasn't too far from my house - basically they had a "Halloween Haunted HOuse" of sorts. Of course it was free - that's the kind of activity I like. And it was the first haunted house that actually scared me - I was really impressed. Some kids were going - like 6-7 years old, and I can't imagine how THEY felt! So it was cool. They let you into a "building" called "Maximum Security Prison". You were lead into a pitch black room, then lectured on how you were in the prison system now and all liberties and freedoms were taken away. They owned you now. Then, oddly, through this dark prison maze you went, and you were once again considered a guest of the prison because one of the crazy inmates took one of us (who worked for the haunted house) hostage, and forced the guard to open up all cells in the prison. So the rest of the haunted house was us innocent folk trying to get out of the prison w/o being harmed. They had some neat rooms and effects - like the dentists room, the room where they did experimental dissections, the laundryroom with burning steam, the visitation room, the warden's office (he was dead of course), and the room with the electric chair. The prisoners were pretty creepy - one had on a Hannibal mask. So it wasn't just playing on startling you. Fun times. We made it out :-). Then I walked to see a movie - David Cronenberg's "Eastern Promises" with Viggo Mortensen. Although I didn't like Cronenberg's Existenz movie much, I really liked this one. Good story, good cast. About sorta the Russian mafia in London. Fun. Then I walked up to the 9th Ave restaurant row area. But that's a lot of walking let me tell you - from my place a couple of blocks up from Houston to 52nd! Google maps says it's over 3 miles, and I walked both there and back :-).
Anyway - dinner. So I wanted to try Afghan food becuase I'm weird about trying different cuisines. I went to an Afghan Kabob house and it was AWESOME! Not sure what made it different spice-wise, but the combo kabob plate I got (lamb, beef, and chicken) was fantastic. The flat Afghan bread was tasty, as was the rice and salad. I especially liked the sauces - they had a spicy red one that I really liked, and a yogurty one for the salad. Yum. But yeah - so explain this to me. So that is all I actually ordered - the kabob plate. I was toying with getting a side order of spinach, but thought the main dish would be enough food. But the waiter, who initially seemed the type to ignore me, kept bringing me free food! He misunderstood and brought an appetizer of sort of fried pockets of spinach which were awesome. Then he insisted that he'd just bring the cooked spinach side dish for me to try, on the house. Then I finished and thought that was it, but he put a dessert - some sort of thick pudding with pistachios on top - in front of me. I didn't ask for it. Then he insisted I get tea to help digest when I told him I was full. Everything was good, but I have no idea why he kept bringing me food. Took pity on the girl by herself? He only billed me for the kabobs, but what he brought was like worth twice that. So I left a good tip :-). Tho I was full, I had passed a Tast-D-Lite on the way up with Peanut Butter Fudge ice cream which I've been craving. So I had to get some on the way back :-). And lo and behold they had a lady playing a guitar and singing there for an hour - it was kind a coffee shop. So I stayed and listened for awhile. Then took the long walk back home. Nice day. But it was getting chilly!
So Since it's supposed to be sunny on Sunday, I plan to get up and bike ride. Which I do, however "sunny" doesn't mean "warm". It was actually very chilly and WINDY! Not the best for biking, but I made it :-). Went for just over 2 horus! Unwisely I went along the river which is worse for wind. But I wanted to check out the track next to the water down by Battery Park. It was pretty - with nice views of New Jersey. Then I biked up to Central Park because I also wanted to see the hall of Maple Trees in the pictures I bought. Finally found it (it's not really accessible by bike). It was pretty, altho sadly the leaves haven't changed yet. But it was nice - there was some benefit going on for urology and I got a free apple and banana :-). But my hands were cold and I was tired by the time I finished seeing the trees, so I tried to hurry home and took a very hot shower. And this is when I got out my scarf and gloves :-).
So I set off for another adventure: Jackson Heights in Queens. So it's a great place for food, so I've been told. I printed a list of the top 5 food carts in New York and they were all in Jackson Heights. There are a lot of other good restaurants there too, so it was nice to walk around - but not the nicest neighborhood. So I first walked through the Spanish speaking places - saw Cuban, Philipino food places. Looked interesting. I got a supposedly very good tamale here for $1.50 at a cart. It was tasty but not enough filling for me - mostly corn. Walking, I saw a Tibetan Yak food place. Then as I proceeded the signs changed to some Asian languages. Then Halal food carts - I got a chicken plate from Sammy's. I didn't eat it until later, but it was awesome - I got all three sauces - but I think I went overboard when I told him to put more hot red sauce :-). What is it with me and spicy lately? But anyway - kept walking around - got some roasted nuts :-). Then I hit Little India - seriously. Everyone on the street was Indian ALL OF A SUDDEN - these are micro-cosms. All restaurants were Indian and every store had beautiful saris or had Indian groceries (Patel Brother's - cracked me up). Then back to Roosevelt street, and we were back to Mexican sweet shops and the like. Very interesting area. Fun stuff. I got a Mexican dessert thing from a cart (not on my list) - like thin wafers, and she put homemade caramel sauce in a thin layer between. Tasty :-). So I took the subway back and ate my chicken dish in Washington Square park while watching some crazy people and listening to the pots and pans drummer guy. Interesting :-). Then I headed home via the grocery store - another good day. And I had a nice chat with my roommate that night. Just as we are becoming friends - I have to leave, boo. I wish I didn't have to move, but it'll be next Monday. But that'll bring me closer to Austin - only 5 weeks and counting folks!
I've been up and down lately, and in circles really. This weekend was hard because I am just lonely. I guess I just don't have enough people to talk to. It was hard to come back from vacation to sort of realize it really didn't matter to anyone that I was back. I mean - I still had a good weekend, just felt a little empty. I was happy to come back to work, but then realized yesterday I don't really talk to people at work either. Although I wore my new wool skirt which I like :-). And there were some good times - talking with Maria was nice. And I called Dad and had a really nice conversation with him last night. I think we are getting along better. Oddly enough I think I understand him better. Just thinking a lot recently about different interactions wtih different kinds of people - this isn't specifically about my Dad. And there are people that each of us are "rubbed the wrong way by" or we "speak a different (love) language". But just because different people show they love you in different ways (or they communicate in different ways) - maybe ways you don't understand - doesn't mean they don't love you. You just have to put more effort into understanding their language or way of communicating.
So here's the thing - again back to this: how much do you say "this is who I am", and how much are you willing to deconstruct yourself and change? I like to believe that I'm always out for bettering myself, for changing, but God it's hard. You can't just recognize flaws, or even be willing to be told your flaws. You have to pay attention to how they manifest themselves whether intentional or not, and then make a concerted effort to possibly change that. Or like if a way you speak seems aggressive to another person, or timid, or whatever they don't respond well to, and you find out - what do you do? Do you say "I'm aggressive, tough for them." Or do you want to interact with them in a more positive manor, so change how you speak only with them. Or do you change how you speak with all people becuase it could always seem aggressive to others. Do you analyze why you seem to be aggressive? These things that seem like our inate responses to things - to how someone speaks: are they changable? Yes, I believe, but it's difficult and not overnight and you have to weigh the benefit. Deconstructing yourself isn't easy.
And slightly on topic - I feel lost. I think I've communicated this before some, but I really do. And I try to do things to make this feeling lessened, but I think it's a systemic thing, not an immediate thing to be fixed. Also hard. On my marathon phone call with Naveen last night, he said he is basically too confident and needs to scale that back some. EDIT: Not scale back - confidence is good, but realize that being very confident isn't always the best strategy when dealing with all people. /EDIT The reason? Safety. I hope he doesn't mind me saying this, but this was a really interesting thing to me. He said he sees it being correlated with your parent's being together, and you having a strong, close support network. I took offense to this of course (assuming the implication that I didn't have these things, and thus not safety). But partly it is true. He has always lived in Illinois close to his family and most of his friends are there. He is very close to his friends - more so than me, and his parents are together. So I wonder if some of these things are the reason I feel lost. I do have a support network and it's been getting stronger - at least it was before I left Austin. And that's part of why I'm having a hard time now that I am away. Proximity matters. That's why I so desperately want to get back because that is one of the only things that'll make me feel better. And I want to create that safety around me back in Austin, too - it's not there by default. Because then maybe it'll be easier to deal with other things - everything. Maybe if I feel safe I can deal with criticism better, with judgment better. That came up last night too - I don't deal with judgment well, or people who have strong opinions and sort of dogmatically voice them. I like people who are outwardly more inviting, more forgiving, more accepting of people. So then I won't be judged harshly see :-). I won't be put into the "not good enough" or "bad" category. Don't know why I'm afraid of this. Don't know why I put up defenses and feel personally attacked by those people. Because they aren't personally attacking me just because they have strong opinions. I guess I sort of internally believe judgment is harsh - sort of a negative quality. But Naveen believes it is a good quality to have - you have to judge to know good from bad, to know what you want to be or who you want yourself to be surrouunded by. But I guess I feel threatened by negative judgments, and thereby I don't try to put those on other people myself. But they are not always bad, and they do not always reflect badly on me.
Anyway, I'm rambling and this is a long post. Of course I'm still struggling with all these thoughts, so if you have opinions on them, please let me know :-). I'd like to hear. And also if you have comments on what I could do for a day while in Philadelphia, let me know that too! I'm going to go back through there after visiting Christine (yay!) this weekend. Ok, back to being my broken self, at work.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
PS
I'm homesick. Miss shared experience. Adventure by oneself, while still adventure, gets old after awhile, old and lonely. Some people say you learn the most about yourself, grow, when you are alone. I think I'm the opposite. I sorta shut down. I think I'm more challenged by other people...
More on today later - it was a pretty good solo adventure day.
More on today later - it was a pretty good solo adventure day.
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