Life is a Ride... And One to Smile About

Or... "Work in Progress" - that was my other title. Seems the title I used is more happy and summarily whereas "Work in Progress" is positive, but has to be explained :-).

So... I haven't written in awhile. I needed a break - and maybe you did too. To be honest I was in a dark place for December and January. I had some stuff to work out, and I really didn't want to voice it here. Or maybe I couldn't - hence the "working out". Mostly mental stuff - in my head. And while I was having fun on the outside - returning from New York and seeing friends, then seeing family for Christmas and all... Well, on the inside I was a tornado. And it just took me awhile to come out of it. And I didn't want to be all negative on here necessarily.

But... I'm happy to report I'm out of it! I feel SO much better. And, well, I don't know if I can tell you why. There are reasons of course :-). But some of it just got figured out up there. It is about perspective, but I couldn't just snap my fingers and change mine. It took time. But I'm happy again! I'm smiley. And, as my title says - "Life is a Ride". It really is. I feel like I've been through so much and I wouldn't give up any of it. I am the person I am today through it all - because of it all, and everything I have experienced better prepares me for my interactions today, and in the future. I am still becoming the calm, happy, successful, healthy person I want to be, but I am her too. Hence, "work in progress". I've been talking to various people recently about this concept, this concept which I love. Like "When will I have it all figured out?" The answer is I won't, and I don't want to! See, that's the point of life for me, that and challenging myself. If I'm not growing, not pushing boundaries, not figuring it all out over again and redefining things, well, I wouldn't be happy. I'm always changing, I'm always discovering new things about the world, about people, about me. Accepting new input and mushing it into my "world model". And I love that. I always want to be figuring it out, to be challenging myself like that - to not feel static or stationary or "done". I love being a work in progress, and so - that's what I'll be. I'll let you know when to wear a hard hat when interacting with me ;-). But you don't need to often...

So, why the smiling? Well, first: Research. Research has been going well! And how much have I said that in the last 3 years? I love my new project, I can really get into it and sink my teeth in. I went and had a heart-to-heart with my advisor and told her "Listen - I really need this to work, and I need you to be really involved, because I'm at the end of a rope here", and she, well, she tried to step up anyway. Result was that we submitted a paper a couple of weeks ago. Although of course she was MIA the week of the deadline because she was visiting Australia, I was so proud of the paper, of being able to submit, of having work I was proud of and worked hard on! It was just a relief. And I really do think this stuff is going to be my thesis. Let's hope so! Then another FABULOUS thing in research - I GOT THE NSF AWARD TO RESEARCH IN AUSTRALIA this summer! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. Not only do I get paid to go live in Australia, but I get a bonus on my resume as well! And I get to work with an awesome researcher in Australia (who's sometimes better than my advisor). Plus - you know I'm gonna travel down there. So, yippee for life's opportunities - the ride of life.

Second: Exercise. YOu know I love it. Since the 2nd week in January I've been exercising 2 hours per day Mon-Thursday and then more on weekends. It's a hard schedule, but I'm so proud of myself! I've been losing weight again, and eating well and being healthy. I have been loving Kung Fu. And I love my Coached Swim class where our coach kicks our butt, but it's worth it. Did I tell you that now I swim a mile or more every time I go swim (twice a week)? Remember last summer when I swam a mile for the first time!! Upwards, baby - only way to go! Then, of course, more running and biking (with Aunt Janelle's awesome road bike). And I started a tennis club with friends on weekends, so I'm doing that again. And sometimes hiking. I'm a glutton, really! And it's nice just to be in 1 place and have a schedule and not worry so much about future plans or trips. Ah :-).

Thirdly, but not lastly: People. YOu've heard me say it before - I love people. They make me joyful in life, and they are almost the only thing that does. And, well, they are awesome. I really do feel like I have a family here. I love the house I live in (despite some of Tom's control issues). I'm really bonding with roommates lately (despite new guy). I have brought some Austin friends closer which is awesome. They are really there for me. And I mourn my friends who I hang out with sometimes who might be gone when I get back from Australia. But I do have close bonds here, and for that I'm happy. I am fulfilled. It really is a simple equation. But... to be honest about the smiling, really - I have to tell you that a boy is involved. Now, don't get all excited - I'm just dating, but it's nice to be dating again. It's nice to get nervous when he calls, or wonder what he's thinking or try and figure someone new out or look forward to spending time with someone. Someone cool and sweet. So :-). Giddy - I'm smiling now just writing. Just a dash of excitement, eh? After all, girls just want to have fun! Unchartered territory, and scary, but fun. And worth it. :-).

Oh yeah and another thing - I love my city. I love Austin, love being outside in it. Love what it offers. I've got this whole "microcosm/macrocosm" thing going in my head. Get to know your house, your neighborhood, your city, your state, your country, your continent, and the world. Sure, you can only do what you can. But walk/bike your city - get to know it. Then get to know the world, too. All the different levels are worth it!

So, that is me right now. That is life. I'm living it up, living in the moment, feeling happy. I have things to look forward to. I have "blessings" to be grateful for. I'm happy to be me, to be where I am. To be a "work in progress".