I'm sorry, but I just need to complain for a minute. I feel beaten down, defeated. Maybe by this place. I'm just exhausted by everything right now - the difficulty of finding a place to live here, the fact that everything revolves around money, the fact that I have lost faith in my chosen field (Computer Science), the fact that I don't have close people around me. I'm tried of fighting everything - tired of searching, tired of chores, tired of not relaxing, tiring of going ALL THE TIME. I need a break - please let me crawl into a hole and not be bothered for awhile. I don't want to think about work, or about subletting my Austin apartment again, or about getting my stupid perscriptions from Austin in the future, or laundry, or money, or fitting in everything I want to do in New York (there's more in this list, but I won't go on). I think part of this is definitely pressure on myself - and I am tired. I need a break from being me for a bit...
P.S. Yeah it doesn't help that I can't extend my left arm all the way. I worked biceps on Monday for the first time in awhile and biked yesterday and I think it just kinked the ligaments in my elbow :-(.
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I feel really worn down, too. Teaching a class is killing me, or at least my research productivity. I'm falling behind on things, and that's already after having mostly given up on a lot of regular workouts and reading time and whatnot. I feel like I'm always behind, and every moment I'm not struggling to catch up I feel guilty I'm not doing more.
Blargh.
Good luck. I hope that you find answers to your housing questions soon. Once those fall into place, I suspect you'll be able to pull everything else into place, too.
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