Apology

[Forward teaser - at the bottom is a link to my Montreal pics!]

Hey All - I just wanted to apologize for my last post. Not that it's not true - I am dealing with some stuff and brooding a lot and all. But I did not need to be as morose and negative about it. I tend to do that - don't know why I make drama out of things. And yes, it's been brought to my attention that I mostly talk about the negative side of things (because that's the side I need to get out to deal with and get help with), but I don't always express all the positive.

So I am happy. This week has been a lot better. I'm really glad Naveen and I have been talking. It's not always easy, but it really does open my eyes and challenge me a lot. And I know it seems like a lot of philosophizing, Mom, but I really do enjoy that and see it as a way to grow, as a way to understand different people and being human. Getting down to the heart of who you are can be difficult (and isn't always explanable), but I like the privilege :-). Although at first I have a hard time dealing with these things that are pointed out that sort of seem like deep parts of me - I turn inward and do some self-deprecating and say I'm all a mess - it's not really true. I am a strong person with great people around me, but my foundation was just slightly rocked and I haven't figured out how to put it into perspective yet. I'm not suddenly a bad person, though. And I need to not negatively dramatize it as much. I have been realizing more recently that I can have a powerful effect on people just by the mood I am in, so I have to pay attention. I wonder how many people are in general aware of their mood changes as they interact with people, and how those reflect back - how you can really change other's moods?

Anyway - he's a happy top N list of things in my life now (in no particular order):
1. Being experimental with vegetables lately and the wonderful farmer's markets here.
2. Getting the chance to live in Manhattan - how privileged am I?!
3. Living here for 6 months and 2 very different seasons, and in 3 different neighborhoods - lots of breadth which is really fun :-).
4. Wearing new clothes I bought here 3 of 4 days this week :-).
5. Actually finding a couple of cool New Yorkers who are really good people and who are nice to me.
6. Having exercised 4-7 times per week consistently for over a year now - go me!
7. Getting random people's attention (males) - sometimes it's fun :-). Today I got told I look like (older actress) Juliet Prowse.
8. Wearing new earrings I got in Montreal today - really pretty! Metal fired with lots of colors.
9. Walking everywhere.
10. Awesome close family and friends around me who tell me they care about me every week and can't wait to see me.
11. A planned trip to see my family for Christmas - can't wait to go back to AZ!
12. Enjoying what I do, even if research is frustrating, and working with people I admire.
13. Going back to Austin in less than 5 weeks now!
14. Being strong willed - yes, it's a positive.
15. Loving some wonderful people.
16. Not burning bridges - hopefully even strengthening them ;-).


Also - I will post later about cooking eggplant (it succeeded), the CRAZINESS that is Manhattan Halloween and the parade, and tonight - going out to seafood and an off-Broadway play. I'm doing too much to keep up with it in my blog!

Bonus: Montreal pics!

http://www1.snapfish.com/share/p=50111193976265901/l=320145333/g=50971540/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB

Yay, Jenn